Thursday, May 05, 2005

Indiana Jones and the Financial Center of Doom!

"An action suspense film set in India's financial center.

This is an electrifying suspense thriller that features martial arts action! A burnt out enforcer now working for a multinational corporation is preparing to travel to India for an E-commerce convention. Upon arrival he meets an online friend. They have dinner and the following day, she mysteriously disappears. His search leads him into a web of international intrigue as he is challenged by street thugs and crooked cops. After questioning company executives about his friend's whereabouts, he is assaulted later that night in his hotel room. When he awakens, he finds himself imprisoned on an 18th century fortress known as the Bombay Deathtrap. He must survive skilled martial arts fighters, a snake-filled pit, female assassins, quicksand, flaming traps, poison gas, and crocodiles! This sets the stage for an unforgettable sequence of events guaranteed to have audiences on the edge of their seats as he defeats all the elements of evil and rescues the girl! He attends the convention, purchases gifts for friends, and heads to the airport. He is unaware that one of his packages has been switched, and will be the driving element for killers tracking his every move in:

The Sequel - Set in Los Angeles.

This has also been fashioned as a video game concept."


At 10:59 AM, Blogger BlackKatanas said...

The best line is clearly the last one.

At 11:10 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

I can probably do without the quicksand. No one can ever hope to improve on the quicksand scene from "Blazing Saddles"

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Mix Tu'ux said...

This is clearly not xtreme enough, BCPhil to the rescue!

At 11:19 AM, Blogger classymac said...

E-commerce. That's hot.

At 11:20 AM, Blogger Hbarr said...

Any movie with female assassins can't be all bad. Especially if they wear spandex and slink around like ninjas.

P.S. - Don't forget to sell a product placement to Union Carbide for the poison gas.

At 11:29 AM, Blogger BWeaves said...

Damn! Now our queries have been outsourced to India!

At 11:42 AM, Blogger snow-cap said...

I like how the movie ends with him buying gifts for his friends. That's very thoughtful of him.

At 11:44 AM, Blogger berimbau-player said...

Edge of their seats? I'm just pissing my pants thinking about the sequel.

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

"He attends the convention, purchases gifts for friends, and heads to the airport."

Oh, the suspense. The electricity. I'm on the edge of my seat already.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger POPEalicious said...

BURNT OUT ENFORCER: Danged Bombay Deathtraps! I'll give you one last chance, Female Assassin, to tell me what you did with my online friend, or I'll make you watch another power point presentation from my e-commerce convention.

FEMALE ASSASSIN: Keep talking dirty, Burnt Out Enforcer, and I'll be forced to seduce you and steal one of your convention gifts for your friends.

ONLINE FRIEND: ))8-o***o-8((

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Meg said...

How does one have dinner with an online friend? Did he bring his laptop? Those whacky E-commerce guys! They're always imprisoning people in snake and crocodile infested castles. Bastards!

Please note he only needs to survive female and not male assasins. The male ones were no problem for the burnt out enforcer!

At 11:53 AM, Blogger Meg said...

I think the poison gas is one obstacle too many. Flaming traps, ok. But not the poison gas. It's just not believable.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

What about flaming poison gas?

At 12:00 PM, Blogger penlies said...

How do street thugs and crooked cops relate to international intrigue? Are they mail order thugs from Thailand?

At 12:08 PM, Blogger howdysir said...

I think all of you are wrong. This idea is workable IF you cut out some cheesy stuff.

At 12:18 PM, Blogger Hbarr said...

Of course the idea is workable. We've all seen this concept work in dozens of movies.

The question for an agent receiving this pitch is, "Do I believe the author made the idea work in his script, based on the quality of the writing in the query?"

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Space Shark said...

Pitfall: The movie

At 12:30 PM, Blogger MacSledge said...

"A burnt out enforcer now working for a multinational corporation is preparing to travel to India for an E-commerce convention."

So there's time travel as well?

At 12:31 PM, Blogger Meg said...

I think flaming poison gas is ok, but then no crocodiles.

At 12:34 PM, Blogger Space Shark said...

No keep the crocodiles! They put the death in the Bombay deathtrap.

Here's a tip to other writers, next to killer monkeys, crocodiles are they best way to raise tension in a boring script.

For example: "Watch as the hero battles the forces of evil..and crocdiles!"

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Clutch said...

The writer should pitch this query to Bollywood.

At 12:42 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

I believe you're missing the point: the flaming poison gas comes from the crocodiles.

And you do not want to know what they've been eating!

At 12:49 PM, Blogger BWeaves said...

What exactly is an "enforcer?"
What do they enforce?
Why would they be burnt out?
Do they ejaculate fire?
Why would he need to travel to an E-commerce convention?
Couldn't he attend it online?
How do you meet an online friend in person?
His search leads him into a WEB . . . get it WEB / online / internet / not funny.
He's assaulted in his hotel room and later wakes up in the Bombay Deathtrap.
PUNCHLINE. They're the same place!!
He must survive yada yada yada, which sets the stage for "attending the convention and purchasing gifts." Yawn.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger hoover said...

they've been eating indian of course.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Oooooohh! I wasn't aware the crocodiles were expelling the flaming poison gas. Guess we'll have to keep them in, then. Then the quicksand has to go because I know no one on here will consent to the female assassins going. I guess I wouldn't either come to that.

I think weasels really heighten the tension of a movie. As in:
"Our hero is caught in a tightly spun web of intrigue deep in the sexual underground of weasels."

At 1:18 PM, Blogger Mustang Sally said...

But who has the Xtreme weapons, the female assasin ninjas, or the toxic flatulent crocodiles?

I like that he thought ahead and mapped this out as a video game as well as a screenplay. "Remains of the Day" was done like that too, and I think it really added nuance to the characters' emotional growth.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Tourette Spice said...

If he ever bothered to visit Mumbai (Bombay) he would know that one enounters flaming traps, poison gas and snake-filled pits just leaving the airport! So it is less an adventure and more of everyday life...

At 2:02 PM, Blogger POPEalicious said...

"Remains of the Day" was done like that too, and I think it really added nuance to the characters' emotional growth.

What a great idea for a special edition boxed set! -


deleted scene in the Bombay Kinko's, getting ready for the presentations

the actual powerpoint presentations from the e-commerce convention

DVD-Rom game for children "Croc Flatulence II: The Vengance"

audio commentary by Anthony Hopkins

At 2:09 PM, Blogger but_seriously said...

Bweaves, you misread it. He doesn't wake up in the Bombay Deathtrap; he wakes up on the Bombay Deathtrap.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Jason said...

"friggin' laser beams" anyone? On the crocs or somehow on the poison gas?

At 2:25 PM, Blogger Dwight Brown said...

"He attends the convention, purchases gifts for friends..."

My online friend was assaulted in his hotel room, survived skilled martial-arts fighers, a snake-filled pit, female assassins, quicksand, flaming traps, poison gas, and crocodiles, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

At 3:01 PM, Blogger BWeaves said...

It just occurred to me.
He attends the conference.
So this means that everything else has to happen in only a couple of hours before the conference starts, because no company is going to send you to a conference days early. Too much expense.

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Mustang Sally said...

Really though, you have to admire the protagonist's dedication to his job. I think after escaping street thugs, crooked cops, snakes, assasins, ninjas, quicksand, and gaseous crocodiles, I'd just skip the stupid convention and go home. But no...our hero dons his plastic "Hi my name is ______" nametag and heads for the Bombay Sheraton in time for the first meet and greet session.

Now I truly understand the elusive man Bonnie Tyler was singing of in "Holding Out for a Hero."

Maybe one day I'll find such a man.

But somehow I think I'm more likely to find the flame-farting crocs.

At 3:44 PM, Blogger Slimey8 said...

So I wonder what the sequel in L.A. would be like? Everything's the same here except for the crocs. Maybe put in some hookers instead of female assasins and he could try to help some sorority house mother find some sexually out of control girl for a girlfriend.

At 3:57 PM, Blogger POPEalicious said...

heads for the Bombay Sheraton in time for the first meet and greet session.


At 4:00 PM, Blogger Heyoka James said...

"he could try to help some sorority house mother find some sexually out of control girl for a girlfriend."

Come now! We all know thats the road paved to the emotional urinal. No self-respecting burnt out enforcer is going to fall for such an obvious trap!

At 4:22 PM, Blogger RockSteady said...

"They have dinner and the following day, she mysteriously disappears."

Not really, dude. It's called SHE'S AVOIDING YOU!!! She met you in person, you're ugly, you chew with your mouth open, you had a boogie hanging out of your nose and something green stuck between your teeth, you talked about yourself and your stupid enforcer job the whole damn time, and she never wants to talk to you again and relive that hell of an evening.

Not that I've ever been on a date like that. Ahem.

At 5:48 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

Ah, the old Web of International Intrigue! Second cousin to the Web of Municipal Intrigue: Please fill out Forms 12987eh-J874032, Ag3918YniZZ7, and 76-K689403m89, but be very careful. Any sort of mistake, especially in Subsection X-984-3 of Form Ag3918YniZZ7, will result in transfer to Cellblock 67 of the 18th century fortress known as...(wait for it!)...the Bombay Deathtrap*!!!

*Any complaints about such transfers will only be taken in person at the Complaint Department (sourced out to India) and only accompanied by Complaint Form Q9-76042L filled out in advance.

Imagine the video game....

At 10:03 PM, Blogger Carlsgood said...

Action! Suspense! Financial Center? Brokers, accountants and analysts crunching numbers and trades. Oooo! Got a shiver and a tingle. Hair on my neck's a quiver.

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Isabel Button said...

I love this site. I'm never leaving. Except to eat and shower.

At 12:03 AM, Blogger crazed_writer said...

"He must survive skilled martial arts fighters, a snake-filled pit, female assassins, quicksand, flaming traps, poison gas, and crocodiles"

The female assasins will be played by Anna Fung, The blue haired "Get some tonight" girl and Nancy Drew in drag.

At 3:37 AM, Blogger cinekat said...

"on arrival he meets an online friend."

Burnt Out Enforcer: Gasp! 7 windows chick... is it really you?

At 8:03 AM, Blogger BWeaves said...

If you have dinner and the following day, she mysteriously disappears . . . She's just not that into you.

And if you try to find her, that makes YOU the stalker. All the street thugs and cops are trying to stop you stalking her, man.

At 8:31 AM, Blogger Meg said...

I have never resorted to female assasins to get rid of bad dates. Not going to say I haven't been tempted.

I don't think the addition of package enhancers or bumper nuts or even highway underpass stains can save this query.

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Casper Vidor said...

This is an electrifying suspense thriller that features martial arts action!

Watch India's greatest martial artist, Sanjay O'Reilley kick ass with a falafel. He has no reason to be hummus cause he's lookin' out for you!

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Lucky Lux said...

"I don't think the addition of package enhancers or bumper nuts or even highway underpass stains can save this query."

I don't know. If the e-commerce site he was representing WAS Bumper Nuts, this script might have some merit.

At 8:28 AM, Blogger His Monkey Wife said...

I would so buy the Remains of the Day video game.

"Hit the power-up and you can repress emotion three times longer!"

At 12:24 AM, Blogger jb68 said...

If they cast Sonny Chiba for this, I'm there.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Jeb said...

"All the elements of evil"

So, how many elements does evil have? Are there more classically evil elements in Asia? What about the Periodic Table of Evil?

Wait, that explains it. The poison gas must be the Evil of Argon.

At 7:42 PM, Blogger kirt said...

Sounds like a great idea for an action flic to me. Will the female assassins be lesbians?

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Devil Wolf X said...

"he is assaulted later that night in his hotel room."

Lord, does every action movie have to have a gay rape scene? Please writers, it's been done to death. No one can forget Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman in Die Hardon (English Title: The Erection). Hot, glistening, grunting man-on-man action has never been so heartbreaking. Just get past it already and come up with your own damn ideas.

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At 3:30 AM, Blogger Clickbank Mall said...

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Computer News
Microsoft lawsuit is called a 'charade'

In a simmering legal tussle, Google, the Internet search company, is asking a judge to reject Microsoft's bid to keep a prized research engineer from taking a job at Google, saying that Microsoft filed a lawsuit to frighten other workers from defecting.

Microsoft sued the research engineer, Kai-Fu Lee, and Google last week, asserting that by taking the Google job, Lee was violating an agreement that he signed in 2000 barring him from working for a direct competitor in an area that overlapped with his role at Microsoft.

"This lawsuit is a charade," Google said in court documents filed before a hearing on Wednesday in Seattle. "Indeed, Microsoft executives admitted to Lee that their real intent was to scare other Microsoft employees into remaining at the company."

Google countersued last week, seeking to override Microsoft's noncompete provision so that it can retain Lee.

"In truth, Kai-Fu Lee's work for Microsoft had only the most tangential connection to search and no connection whatsoever to Google's work in this space," Google said in court documents.

The judge in the case, Steven Gonzalez of Superior Court, who heard arguments in the case on Wednesday, said he expected to issue a ruling on Thursday.

Google's filings include details about a conversation Lee had with Microsoft's chairman, Bill Gates, suggesting that his company was becoming increasingly concerned about Google's siphoning of talent, and perhaps intellectual property.

Lee said Gates told him in a meeting on July 15, referring to Microsoft's chief executive, Steven Ballmer: "Kai-Fu, Steve is definitely going to sue you and Google over this. He has been looking for something like this, someone at a VP level to go to Google. We need to do this to stop Google."

A Microsoft spokeswoman, Stacy Drake, declined to comment on Gates's statement directly.

"Our concern here is the fact that Dr. Lee has knowledge of highly sensitive information both of our search business and our strategy in China," she said.

Lee said Google did not recruit him and had not encouraged him to violate any agreement he had with Microsoft.

Microsoft countered that Lee's job with Google gave him ample opportunity to leak sensitive technical and strategic business secrets. Microsoft noted that Lee attended a confidential, executive-only briefing in March, which was labeled "The Google Challenge."

"In short, Dr. Lee was recently handed Microsoft's entire Google competition 'playbook,"' Microsoft said.

Lee joined Microsoft in August 2000 after he helped to establish its research center in China. At one point, Microsoft said, he was in charge of the company's work on MSN Search.

Microsoft and Google, along with Yahoo, are locked in a fierce battle to dominate search, both online and through desktop search programs. Google has begun offering new services, including e-mail, that compete with Microsoft offerings.

Microsoft said it had paid Lee well in exchange for his promises to honor confidentiality and noncompete agreements.

The company said that Lee made more than $3 million during nearly five years at its headquarters in Redmond, Washington, and that he earned more than $1 million last year.

Microsoft asserts that there is "an extremely close between the work Lee did at Microsoft and what he will be doing at Google.

Google argued otherwise, insisting that Lee is not a search expert and noting that his most recent work at Microsoft was in speech recognition.

Copyright © - 2005 Entireweb

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