OMG human cloning scripts are sooooooo overdone
"Two lab technicians have been engaging in genetic cloning, and have figured out how to clone humans. But, it is not just anyone that they intend to clone. It is a list of Hollywood's Who's Who. Quickly, they set aside any morals or ethics they may of have had and will stop at nothing to get what they want. When a well-known actress becomes one of their victims, she finds it hard to distinguish between reality and an unimaginable nightmare confronting her. First, she witness her co-star's kidnapping, and cloning. Then, stumbles upon an underground room filled with cloned Hollywood's Celebrities, she runs for her life. When two men with guns show up at her house, she fights back. Not knowing who is who, or who she can trust she struggles to reclaim her identity, and uncover who and what is behind this sinister plot that entangles her and the movie industry. A thriller spiked with intrigue, suspense, horror, and humor.
This is a provocative, high-octane look at what happens when unguarded technology falls into the wrong hands. It is set against the backdrop of the vast changes in technology and culture. To emphasize the devastating effect that unbridled commercialism pose on the value of American ideals as well as human kind as we know it. The whole scenario may take place in fantasy, but it is not far fetched. Up to this point, cloning humans belonged solely to the field of science fiction. The prospect of cloning humans emerges everyday. History has shown us that, we as humans have a compelling urge to push the boundaries even break them. There seems to be no doubt that our future is a future filled with clones. The question then becomes is it really you or me."
posted by The Empress @ 9:47 AM
44 comments
44 Comments:
So they're cloning full-grown adults, skipping those pesky juvenile stages. And nature vs. nurture is all a big scam, you become the person you are solely because of your genetics.
Interesting theory. I'll have to get a lab tech to explain it to me.
Instead of a well known actress I think Tom Cruise should be the victim. And he should be constantly running.
One small problem with the premise; I don't care if it's the real actor or the clone. I don't care if they have stables full of celebrity clones that they dispose of after each use. In fact, I think this is probably going on right now. Of all the poeple in the world to clone these scientists choose celebrities?
Clones are people two.
They could clone Paris Hilton a million times! The movie could be a giant blood-fest where a college student must rise up and kill the Paris Hilton’s, over and over and over... No wait the college student should fall in love with the REAL Paris Hilton and they could rise up together to rid the world of the fakes, a little Hilton on Hilton action. Mmm delicious.
"The whole scenario may take place in fantasy, but it is not far fetched."
Wow, that really cleared things up for me.
If I were this person, I would blame this query on his clone. (Shit, I hope my clone didn't write this while I was busy playing Pin the Bumper Nuts on the Five8 Guy.)
"There seems to be no doubt that our future is a future filled with clones. The question then becomes is it really you or me."
No, the question is is it really you or your clone, dumbass...
If you killed your own clone is it considered murder?
"History has shown us that, we as humans have a compelling urge to push the boundaries even break them."
Kind of like how this guy has a compelling urge to break the boundaries of acceptable comma use?
"There seems to be no doubt that our future is a future filled with clones."
Well clearly! I'm glad SOMEONE finally has the balls to say what I've been saying all along. THE AGE OF CLONES IS COMING, PEOPLE, AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP IT!
expensive to cast that basement scene.
probably have to do some smooth talking, too...unless i'm underestimating the number of celebrities who really enjoy sitting around in basements.
I think I'd probably be able to tell me and my clone apart. She'd be 50 years YOUNGER for pete's sake.
"...the devastating effect that unbridled commercialism pose on the value of American ideals as well as human kind as we know it."
I knew that, sooner or later, Vladimir Putin was gonna send you his screenplay.
I see the finale taking place in front of the Chinese Theater. Which Michael Jackson is the real one? Which celebrities are evil clones or just the look-alikes who pose for photos? The possibilities just send the mind reeling!
That sounds like a blockbuster to me, can Arnold (pre-governator) play a role?
So many questions for our writer:
Your Big Idea is to clone the most worthless, selfish, overpaid, needy, species of all - the Human Actor?
Aren't you mixing up cloning and Stepford Wives?
And what are you planning to do with these all these clones?
Getting into any pilates class on the Westside is going to be even more impossible. And the 10:30 AM lines at Urth Cafe?! Thanks asshat.
P.S. SAG is going to have a field day.
"The question then becomes is it really you or me."
The answer is 'it's you. it's always you."
This script is just "The Sixth Day" with an even less coherent plot. At least the producers of that movie had the good sense to throw in gunfights and explosions to cover up the complete lack of plot credibility.
"Then, stumbles upon an underground room filled with cloned Hollywood's Celebrities, she runs for her life."
Oh my God, look at all those Babies!
"Two lab technicians have been engaging in genetic cloning"
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
I have a background in genetics and believe it or not, the author's science is actually worse than his grammar.
This idea is soo gay. I mean, I have no words to describe my angst. Again I stick to my question.
Question 1: How does anyone with a brain actually finish a script like this?
Question 2: Isn't it funny that a movie about cloning gone awry is just another clone in a list of movies about clones?
Question 3: Repeat first question.
"This is a provocative, high-octane look at what happens when unguarded technology falls into the wrong hands."
You mean, like Final Draft?
"To emphasize the devastating effect that unbridled commercialism pose on the value of American ideals as well as human kind as we know it."
I think this emphasizes the devastating effect that the lack of education has on our culture.
What are the celebrity clones doing in the underground room? Is the dark sexual underground? That would be cool.
Don't laugh at the fast-track adulthood achieved by these clones. It worked in Zardoz. All right, laugh.
I think a better movie would be if the scientists copied a bunch of Hollywood stars and then got caught. The copies would be people, free to live their lives.
How does it affect Tom Cruise's paychecks when a producer can say, "Let's see if we can get the other Tom"?
Reg Dunlop said...
"If you're male, would fucking your clone make you gay?"
No, I'm pretty sure cartoons make you gay.
You’re all missing the big and horrifying picture here. You give Hollywood a basement full of big named celebrity clones and we’ll be hit with years of “twin” movies. Every celebrity would have a film about them joining forces or battling their twin. It would be cheap. No special effects necessary. Ashton Kutcher would fight himself over the location of his car and a stick of gum. Tom Cruise would battle depression while looking for his twin and long lost father. And just think of what the next Charlie’s Angels movie would be like. Double the T & A. At the Academy Awards they would all throw out a big “Thank You” to their twin. Ahhhhhhh!
"There seems to be no doubt that our future is a future filled with clones."
To be honest, I'm surprised it's taken so long for those lab technicians to realize all you need to clone Paris Hilton is a sample of her chest hair. Try eBay.
You can get The Olsen Twins to star in it. Two Clones from NYU come to steal the brains of all the students.
Far and away, the best part of this query is "may of have had."
And I have to say, I'm pissed that I'm never the one who stumbles on these underground rooms and/or dark sexual undergrounds. Obviously, I'm not stumbling in the right places.
I think this could work if the clones were being made and sold to depraved wackos who used them for weird sexual purposes. Sort of like that simpsons haloween episode where the comic book guy kidnaps Xena.
I mean it would be pointless to clone them to make them work for free or whatever. It would be a lot more feasable for some rich nerd to buy his own Gillian Anderson. It would be even more feasable for obsessive compulsive women to impregnate themselves with clones of famous men. That would be a new, weird kind of stalking.
She wasn't Xena. She was Lucy Lawless.
Dumbass. Everyone knows that the first person you clone is HITLER, and the second person you clone is the President of the United States.
After that, whatever, Ashton Kutcher, Mischa Barton, Bruce Vilanch--it doesn't really matter.
Yep, that's a "high-octane" idea. Better stop huffin', though.
"This is a provocative, high-octane look at what happens when unguarded technology falls into the wrong hands."
Dammit, Stan, we should have posted some friggin guards around that there technology. And they stole all our octane, too.
i think this idea could work if the scientists cloned Steven Seagal, Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Michael Dudikoff, Eric Roberts and Mark Dacascos. i'd run for my life too.
You change "clone" to "clown" and you've really got someething here. . .
Yeah, ugh. That's a mental image I want to keep (but on the other hand, I'm sure it'll make my analyst happy...)
Anyway, this is like a trend where someone invents something stupendous and then uses for an end that's completely mundane and unimaginative.
"A mad scientist creates a device that turns lead into gold... And becomes a star magician in Los Vegas!!!"
If you cloned Michael Jackson, would the clone have that "skin disease" too?
mmm, clone me a Matt Damon, will you?
Didn't Liberace make his lover get cosmetic surgery so he looked like a younger version of himself? But I'm pretty sure that's not what made him gay.
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If they start with the Olsen Twins they could get the sequel out of the way sooner...
The Great Gazoo performed his first celebrity clone-job on Fred and Barney in 1965:
"Fred and Barney go bowling while "Fred and Barney nothing" (Gazoo- created duplicates who can only say "Yes, yes, yes" and "No, no no") take the wives to dinner."
154. SEEING DOUBLES (P-154) Written by George O'Hanlon, Rec 8-3-65, Air 12-17-65
http://i-flintstones.tripod.com/episodes6.htm
Ooh! Like the Bit from Tron!
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