Friday, September 30, 2005

Maybethespace bar onyour computeris bro ken

"Logline: A former nerd, now a billionaire, secretly arranges for his entire seniorclass to come back and re-live high school all over again.

Synopsis: He was the biggest nerd in high school. Now at the age of 28, he ison top of the financial world with a net worth approaching one billiondollars. His biggest regret, however, was his social life in high school,and never getting the girl he always dreamed of which happened to be thecaptain of the cheerleaders. So, he secretly devises a plan that will bringback everyone from his senior class including teachers, the principal,coaches, and even the retired janitor. Everyone is given the opportunity toreturn to their old high school during the summer for three months tore-live their senior year all over again with the incentive of receiving anenormous check at the end. Suddenly, former students, teachers, coaches, andadministrators find themselves in the exact same schedules and routines asthey had ten years earlier. The same classes, the same seating arrangements,the same sports teams, and even the cafeteria food is the same as it oncewas. Pretty soon, old friendships are renewed, old romances rekindled, andhe hopes that this time around he can have the senior year he hasalways dreamed of."

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Death of an illusionist. Sucks for him!

"To Whom It May Concern:

Can a ghost revive the economic fortunes of a rundown town?

The newly elected mayor thinks it can. Since a ghost does not really haunt his township's allegedly haunted library, he hires an unknown illusionist to make his town's library appear haunted - very haunted. He thinks this will bring tourists into his town and revive the economy, not to mention help his political ambitions. Just as everything seems to be following the mayor's plan, the illusionist turns on him, threatening to unmask the entire plot, unless he pays a price so dear the mayor is unsure he can pay. He has only one option - kill the illusionist - in the library. It will add to the building's growing lore."

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Please send this to FOX, attn: 24

"Logline: A group of non-Arabic terrorist operatives lay siege to a rural Kansas town on Christmas Eve.

Genre: Drama/Action/Thriller

Description: A heroic and heartbreaking tale of a town's fight for survival on Christmas Eve.

Synopsis: Under the direction of an Al Qaeda operative, a group of non-Arabic radicals infiltrate a rural Kansas town as part of a plot initiated months before 9/11. Having obtained an Electro Magnetic Pulse (EMP) device from a group of Chechen Rebels, the professional recruits await the final order to sever the town's communications and inflict as many civilian casualties as possible. The FBI, confronted with growing evidence of an imminent attack, must race against the clock to identify the Soft Target and save the town from almost certain annihilation.

Overview: This is an action-packed, heart-wrenching piece of reality that America faces in the never-ending battle against terrorism. With a creative, though plausible plot, the story will strike an accord with a nation that continues to bear the scars of 9/11. Yet, by the same token, it will appeal to the patriotism of a people who believe in everyday heroes - hard working families - while engaging those who thrive on the political undercurrents of U.S. policy."

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I hear that soon a medication will be available to help with your serious overuse of parenthesis problem

"Log Line: Innocent, young lovers beam with pride over the new arrival of their first...handgun? Thing has a silencer? Be bloody hilarious if they find somebody they'd like to shoot with it.

A husband and wife are in a jam; what with the everyday stresses of career, insane relationships and a stubbornly persistent (armed), man who'd like to sleep with (as it turns out), either one of them. Life would be good if someone would just blow this guy's brains out, though, that's the sort of thing he's really good at. Why not ask for help? Why not hire someone else to whack this knucklehead (since he's not the kind of guy you'd want to call the cops on)? Perhaps, but that would be illegal and these kids are straight shooters. If that's the case (if they can shoot straight), why not do the dirty deed themselves? Well, that would still be against the law unless it was done in self-defense and there's a good chance it'll come to that."

Monday, September 26, 2005

Perhaps you should have let sleeping scripwriters lie.

"A scriptwriter tries to kill himself after his latest script is rejected, resulting in a drug induced coma, and his confinement in a mental asylum. He awakens 3 yrs later to discover, much to his astonishment, that he has continued to write. He meets a beautiful woman sent to investigate his past, and also to procure the production rights to his works, from the asylum's Director. Their romantic attraction and his consciousness becomes a threat to the doctor, and with his worsening hallucinations he finds himself the prime suspect in a murder investigation."

Friday, September 23, 2005

Death of a (Copier) Salesman... I hope

"Dear Mr./Ms. Agent and/or Producer,

I'd like to submit the recently completed feature screenplay for your consideration. This innovative film takes place in real time. Along with my other groundbreaking films, I believe the script and overall concept will be of extreme interest to you.

During the 2002 DC Sniper Crisis, a copier salesman has five days to close a deal or his addicted mother in New York will be killed by a heartless drug dealer. While innocent citizens are randomly being killed throughout suburban Washington D.C., he must evade the crosshairs of a sniper while simultaneously stopping the future murder of his mother in a city over 200 miles away. On the morning of Friday, October 11th, it all comes to a head as he...

In essence, my script has been compared to the acclaimed hits GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS, CRASH and TRAFFIC."

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Fat Journalist: The Manitoba Years

"Pilot Film/MOW for Christian Crime-Drama Series

Logline: An intelligent, pretty, but overweight female investigative journalist, hiding from the pain of a divorce, along with a crusty police detective, still mourning the loss of his wife, create a tenuous relationship while trying to catch an Internet serial killer.

Synopsis: An intelligent, pretty, but overweight investigative journalist uses her job with the Free Press to hide from the pain of a divorce and the ensuing feelings of guilt and loneliness. One evening, she finds a dead body on her farm. This plunges her into an investigation into a string of serial murders that originate on the Internet, and into a tenuous relationship with a detective, the Head of Homicide Investigations. He is still mourning the loss of his wife, a police officer, in a mugging turned bad. At first, he is cold toward the reporter's advances, but when they meet on the Internet on a Christian dating site, he is persuaded that maybe God wants them together.

But she wants to write a series of articles about the serial killings, much to his chagrin--he is adamant that any woman he gets involved with not be investigating incidents that could endanger her life. She puts off writing the articles, but when he falls head over heels for a woman who looks exactly like his dead wife and breaks off his relationship with the reporter, she writes the articles and gets deeper and deeper into the investigation, using the Internet as her means of baiting the killer.

This is a pilot film/MOW for an ongoing Christian crime-drama series set in Manitoba. It can be adapted to fit locations other than Manitoba. Four initial draft episodes of the series are also available upon request."

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Harsky & Stutch: Truant Officers Extraordinaire!

"A coming of age story for someone who should have come of age a long time ago.

Genre: Comedy

A thirty six year old man is content living at home with his wealthy dad, step mom and step brother, playing video games, and hanging out with his best friend. That is until he nearly burns the house down after throwing a huge party. After recieving an ultimatum from his father, the two men venture out into the world to find work. What they become surprises even them. As truant officers at a nearby high school, they become the thing they used to hate."

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Bend It Like Yo Mama

"LOGLINE: This is a character-driven dramatic comedy about a woman with a long-held dream to make the U.S. Ladies’ Olympic Soccer Team. After numerous setbacks, she almost succeeds. Only through an unlikely deflection of destiny does she receive her golden opportunity and leads the U.S ladies’2008 squad to victory. It’s an inspirational film in the spirit of 'Million Dollar Baby,' 'Bend it Like Beckham' and 'Rocky,' but with a sense of humor.

Here’s the plot in brief. After deferring her dream of playing Olympic soccer due to her pregnancies, a 32 year old mother of two boys, ages 9 and 5, is stuck in an acrimonious marriage and a soul-numbing job in an L.A. sweatshop. She keeps her dream alive by playing soccer locally. When she decides to attend the Olympic try-out held in Los Angeles, she finds the competition fierce, the coach hostile. Despite these obstacles, she performs well-enough to make it to the second tier of try-outs to be held in Nashville. Among the hopefuls is a soccer sensation, a coquettish teenager who has been groomed for stardom by her socialite father who bribes an Olympic official to insure his daughter’s inclusion on the team. Rendered expendable as a result of the bribe, the girl's personal trainer, is relieved of his duties; he offers to help our soccer mom train.

Once in Nashville, her gritty performance on the field enhances her chance of making the team while dissension pervades the teenager's camp in the wake of the Olympic Commissioner’s resignation amid accusations of impropriety. Things are looking up for the mom until a phone call from back home derails the dream. Because of an accident involving her younger son due to her husband’s neglect, she cuts short her trip to be at the boy’s bedside. Though she won’t be accompanying the U.S. team when they go to China, she is chosen as a first alternate. In the months following her son’s recovery, she rededicates herself to raising her children, now as a single parent. With the U.S. team’s advance to the medal round in Beijing, Angie watches on TV as the teen suddenly collapses on the field in pain. She receives the call that she thought would never come and joins the team in time to square off against Brazil in the medal-deciding game. She catches an errant pass and scores the final victory, amid cheers and flashing cameras."

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dracula: Batwings of Steel

The passengers on flight Q42 from New York to Sydney must hold off a crazed vampire and get to a runway before they run out of daylight. The flight from New York to Sydney, Australia passes south and west, crossing from Central America into the Pacific. After that, a couple thousand miles of open sea stretch until one gets to French Polynesia. A vampire in the old, Nosferatu style, makes this journey in the cargo hold -- but his hunger and thirst get the better of him and he goes on a rampage while over the Pacific. A small group of survivors then bands together under the leadership of an ex-army medic now putting herself through med school and a level headed multi-lingual Asian flight attendant. Part of the human story explores how these two strangers, despite frequently arguing about the best strategy, eventually grow to become close friends. They must organize the other survivors and hold the creature off long enough for them to get to a landing strip. Their one advantage in this battle: flying west into the setting sun triples the amount of time they have before nightfall.

Friday, September 16, 2005

I beg to differ, my good man: time started before earth's landscape. Even the Bible says that.

"Logline: Once you have the code, you have the key to creation.

Genre: Action/Sci-fi

At the dawn of mankind there was a genetic code, the key to creation. Now a rogue scientist has discovered this code and plans to use it to create a new mankind. The only problem is, the old one will have to make way for it. Already, a mythological beast has arisen and more will follow. A man has been contacted by another man, who believes that his father, a scientist, has discovered this ancient code. As a new mankind is ushered in, so the old one will become obsolete. It falls to the first man to follow the clues across a landscape as old as time itself.The race is on to find the code and stop the apocalypse."

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Don't send me excerpts of your novels, pendejo.

I thought you'd like this. This is really good.


“Don’t be stupid foo’. Don’t be a pendejo.”

He looked at his homie's grip on his jacket. Most of his boys called him “Playboy” because all the ladies loved him, but those that had known him since he was a kid called him his real name.

He took another hit off his joint. He’d given up smoking over a year ago, had to, but on this day he was more nervous that he had ever been in his life. Thunder rumbled and rain poured, making it impossible to see. Thunder scared Playboy, always had. He fought to keep from shaking. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t swallow. He tried to hide his fear. His mind was set. He had to do it. He yanked his arm away from his homie, and pushed the door open.

“Just keep the car runnin’, ese.”

The homie was a big guy, tattoos up and down his arm and a glass eye. He normally would have just kept Playboy from leaving at all, but he knew nothing could stop him. Nothing at all. He jumped out the car. It was a ‘57 Chevy, slick red, with a chili-pepper-hot Mexican heina painted across the hood. He had painted that picture himself. Complete with chrome wheels.

He slammed the door shut and looked up at the Cathedral in front of him. Lightning illuminated its majestic towers, windows with an eerie stained glass. He’d spent many a night imagining this would be where he’d marry her. They’d have a huge wedding with members of their families flying in from all over the world just to watch this event; this marriage he thought was so destined to be. He’d put his everything into this dream, his one and only dream, and now as he yanked the heavy Oak doors open, his heart pounded like a subwoofer.

He dried his soaked clothes with his hand and scratched his shoes on the mat so as not to squeak across the old wood floor. The church was jam-packed, mostly with Mexicans and Puerto Ricans, but some blacks.

Probably his familia, he thought. How could she even think about marrying some pinche negro?

The grand organ music permeated the building while a choir of children sang, their voices echoing throughout the church. It smelled musty in the air, a mix of wood stain and must as if they never really cleaned the place, just painted over it.

He tried not to be too suspicious, slipping past every one. Funny, he was dressed probably better than he’d ever been. Black suit, his wavy black hair slicked back, starched white shirt, polished black shoes.

He had grown into a very nice looking young man. Maybe even could have been a model, had he played his cards right. Maybe if he hadn’t grown up in the slums of Northeast Vegas, he could have been one of those Latin heartthrobs that were in those magazines. Instead, most of the time he looked like the thug most people assumed he was just by looking at him.

But on this day, this very weird day, he was even wearing a tie. She would have been so proud of him if she could see him. Funny, he’d probably be the last thing she’d see.

He checked his jacket pocket to make sure it was still there. Yep, it felt like a brick pressed against his chest. But he was so numb, or more like so focused, that he was oblivious to it. All he knew was that he had to find her, and he would use any means necessary.

Wham! He bumped hard into a glass table. His thigh throbbed in pain as bullets dropped from his pocket and bounced off the tile floor. The sound echoed all over the lobby. People looked around for the source of the sound, but he managed to scoop them up before anyone could see.

He got up and noticed the beautiful ice sculpture on the table--melting, dripping like an ice cream cone in August. Melting just like his heart.

He saw his priest, the one he’d grown up with. It was as if the whole world had turned against him. They’d sided with her, when this was supposed to be their wedding. It was as if she’d slapped him across the face, as if nothing they’d been through together even mattered. The whole thing was surreal.

She loved him. She’d said that over and over to him since they were little kids. She’d taken care of him and believed in him and dreamed with him and held him when nobody else could give a care.

“Estoy aquí para ti. No matter what -- Siempre,” they’d promised each other. And a promise was a promise.

"Don’t be stupid, Foo’. Don’t be a pendejo.” His brother’s scolding remarks kept playing in his head. He warned Playboy to just let it go. It wasn’t worth it. Normally his homie waiting back in the car would have been all for it, but this time around he said to “olvídalo…let it go.” It was as if he sensed something was going to go wrong and, no matter how high he had been, his gut was always right.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Wow. Star-crossed lovers. Ain't never seen this before.

"Dear Sir/Madam:

When a Muslim Lebanese-American teen finds out that the Christian Lebanese-American girl he's crazy about has a negative attitude towards Arab men and refuses to date them, he gets into the game of pretending to be an 'All American Guy' .In his constant effort to hide his origins from her, he finds himself jumping from one situation to another deliriously. But will his 'Americanization' be enough to overcome the Lebanese's actual differences?"

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Answer: Certainly not in my case.

"LOGLINE: Can be the love for one person bigger than the hate for all humanity?

Genre: Thriller/Drama

A man lost his memory.
A woman found love.
A second chance is given by God but;
Can be the love for one person bigger than the hate for all humanity?"

Monday, September 12, 2005

BOAT TRIP meets BE COOL, but even suckier?

"The story of three friends from the music industry, who have the worst vacation imaginable in Florida when they go on a boat trip, where they encounter a monstrous evil.

One could say bad luck itself is one of the main characters. Their adventure is chock full of strange-but-true facts about Florida, and even stranger mysteries. A comedic romp that will occasionally give you real scares, it does not overdo the aspects of brutality important to the story."

Friday, September 09, 2005

Um, why bother going after Himmler when you could just go after Hitler?

"LOGLINE: A man with psychic powers is bent on assassinating Heinrich Himmler after a glimpse of his future crimes. His quest to kill the Nazi officer leads him to a face-off with a Nazi soldier with a quest of his own, to find a magical book for Himmler, which will unleash dark powers from unknown dimensions.

A man is conducting psychic experiments with a scientist friend, who has come across a magical scrying glass used by a magician in the court of Queen Elizabeth. The man is Himmler's cousin, and is disturbed at his rise to power in Hitler's army. He uses the scrying glass to catch a glimpse of the destruction and death that Himmler's mad power will lead to. He is incensed, and bent on destroying his cousin. However, he must first face-off against a Nazi soldier with an interest in the occult. A soldier who is in search of a magical book for the occult-obsessed Himmler, which can unlock fearsome powers from strange dimensions. When the book falls into the man's hands, however, it sparks a revelation which dramatically alters the nature of his mission to destroy Himmler."

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I hope there's a lot of legwork involved... heh, heh

"An injured war veteran returns home to San Francisco and ends up helping his detective brother solve a murder mystery.

Genre: Drama / Mystery

A man comes home from Iraq less a foot (it was blown off by a landmine) but no less committed to his dream of becoming a police detective for the SFPD, just like his brother. But despite his status as a war hero (which earns him the admiration of his brother's commanding officer and the admiration of a pretty family friend), the man refuses to concede that his goal of making the force is a bit unrealistic."

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Ho-Humsville

"Hello,

I'm an English teacher, and I'd like to give you some information about my screenplay.

Logline: Welcome to the wasteland of the damned--would you make it out alive?

Synopsis: A young man with a checkered past leaves his wife and and child to take a job in a distant city but on the way back runs afoul of a vicious biker gang that pursue him into an accursed, forbidden desert. There, he befriends a mysterious runaway, a young woman. Together, they outrun the bikers and even more dangerous adversaries--murderous, shape-shifting demons. Not far from safety, the man makes a horrifying discovery, which leads to a decision that will forever change him."

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Mighty [Lame] Aphrodite

"I would like to submit my female-driven romantic comedy in the vein of Hitch.

Logline: When an unlucky-in-love New York City librarian gets help from the sassy, sophisticated goddess Aphrodite with scoring her dream date with the hunk at work, she tries everything from a makeover to magic potion, ultimately succeeding in turning her crush into the perfect boyfriend, but winds up finding true love where she least expected it--in her best friend.

A librarian has a crush on the hunk at work. The problem is, she's more invisible to him than air. Enter Aphrodite-goddess in rock star clothing. Aphrodite aids the librarian in her quest to win the hunk over, with the help a jaw-dropping makeover and a little magic potion. Aphrodite's help works, much to the chagrin of the librarian's best friend, neighbor and would-be boyfriend. With the help of this little infatuation potion, the librarian finally has the hunk eating out of the palm of her hand when her friend reveals his long-repressed amorous feelings to her just as she is about to meet the hunk for a big date. The two quarrel and she goes on her date, only to realize mid-dance that she is in love with her best friend after all. She comes clean with the hunk about the potion, and leaves him at the restaurant to find her friend at home, where the two are finally united."

Friday, September 02, 2005

CrimeSpreesRCool.com/ screw/ punctuation.html

"LOGLINE: Combination Ensemble Drama / Morbid Thriller about an embittered man who disguises a sinister plan as a way to cure society of its bad kids..

To Whom It May Concern:
I have just finished the completion of a drama / morbid thriller about a young thirteen year old boy whose boredom sparks a childish prank on an internet site called Rouser . The mad idea triggers children to violence. and mayhem on the streets of Los Angeles and other major U.S. cities. The kids are so energized and impressed by the site that it virtually tells them what crime to commit and they do it. But the young boys prank also jumpstarts the vehicle of another who uses the prank as a means for revenge and death Ultimately leaving a trail of juvenile corpses washing ashore in Southern California with the . .Rouser Internet logo on a large white T- shirt and nothing else The plot thickens as we learn about all of the lives of the ensemble cast and concludes in a good guys prevail climax finale with an interesting twist. at the end."

Thursday, September 01, 2005

This is like that Law & Order episode where the religious crazy guy worked as a church caretaker but also murdered hookers on the side

"By day, a man works as the caretaker of a church. By night, he moonlights as one of New York's deadliest hit men. Though killing people claws at his conscience, he can't quit; he's working to pay off a debt he owes to a ruthless crime lord, who assassinates anyone who crosses him. His guilt becomes unbearable when he carries out a hit on a mark and the funeral is held at the church where he works. The dead man's fiancée turns to the church-caretaker for solace, and he falls in love with her. Tormented by the ugly secret he can't bear to tell his new love, the caretaker refuses to carry out any more hits, regardless of the consequences to himself. But when his boss comes to the church to exact revenge, all hell breaks loose, and the two of them can't control who will live and who will die."

PS- Only ManagerGuy has full control of this blog, so I can't turn on Word Verification to stop the spam comments. Sorry, folks.