Um, gee, call girls... why are they fascinatning? I'm not sure... wait for it... oh yes, you pay them and they have sex with you!
What is there about callgirls that make them so fascinating to men? Especially in the viewing and reading about them. Even the esteemed Gabriel Garcia Marques has fallen to the impulse, in probably his last novel: Memories of My Melancholy Whores.
In my years in the hotel business in San Francisco there was one I knew who was the most fascinating of them all.
A blonde & beautiful courtesan extraordinaire--bright & witty & can analyze a financial report.
Obsessive-compulsive for economic independence, she courts danger in a relationship that almost becomes fatal. But she survives, undeterred, and sets her sights on higher goals.
(Incidentally, I am a Canadian; worth some production points, I
understand.)
posted by The Empress @ 10:17 AM
66 comments
66 Comments:
Am I missing something? Being Canadian gives you production points? Eh?
So, where is the plot, exactly?
I think this writer is bright & witty & funny, & has excellent use of english & good grammer.
khktsy: The art of being Canadian, as it applies to call girl scripts.
What is there about callgirls that make them so fascinating to men? Especially in the viewing and reading about them.
Um, probably not especially reading about them. Just saying.
P.S. I'm also Canadian, so this comment is apparently worth extra snarkiness points.
"...bright & witty & can analyze a financial report."
Column A: Golden Shower Totals
Column B: Hot Carl Totals
Column C: Dirty Sanchez Totals
Column D: The Viewing and Reading About Totals
Column E: Canadian Hotelier's Discount Totals
Column F: Bright and Witty Tax
Column G: Grand Totals
lkpsj: I can't say, but the bright and witty courtesan extraordinaire will tell you it has something to do with bathroom activities combined with something one normally does to an ice cream cone that might cost somewhere in the vicinity of a Dirty Sanchez, plus tax if you would like it done brightly and wittily.
I'm pretty close to Cananda. Some say I'm actually part of Canada, and I sometimes get Canadian coins in my change. Plus it looks damn Canadian out right now. Oh, and I may have accidentally slept with a Canadian once. Do I get any points for this?
xhesh: The day you wake up to find you're not the freshest whore out there anymore, so you go to a costume shop to buy that feathered leotard you'll be wearing for the rest of your days.
I really want to know what her goals are after hooking and financial planning. Maybe its to move to Toronto.
okay. so, you ran/run a hotel for some years. you knew a call girl. you have written a script about it (although the plot is not clear from the query)
that's real nice. real nice
ps - being canadian is not worth production points. producing the movie in canada costs less because of tax breaks
pps - pass.
ppps - could i have a wake up call when you have something good?
pppps - put yourself down for a wake up call, too
This guy should have sent this to Dr. Phil.
I not Canadian but I play one on TV.
Got this one when I tried posting on Taffy's blog. Fits better for this query.
ziplxbc: ziplock condom with a yellow and blue make green seal. Make sure he's gotta green seal.
I am from England. I win.
Bloody hell Tim. Yer good.
jbsbx: what call girls do.
"Especially in the viewing and reading about them. . . in San Francisco"
i.e. I've never really slept with a girl myself, but I looked at one on an Internet site once.
Take off, eh!
"beautiful courtesan", yet
"extraordinaire--bright & witty & can analyze a financial report."
"Memories of a Whore", anyone?
What has Gabriel Garcia Marquezs "My Melancholy Whores" to do with this query anyway? Apart from the prostitutes?
"she courts danger in a relationship that almost becomes fatal."
i.e. Her pimp beats her up.
So what's so new or original about that? This is the world's oldest profession, and this guy hasn't figured out why yet?
Maybe Marquez is trying to break into the movie biz, and obviously One Hundred Years of Solitude was going to be a bitch to turn into a screenplay.
But alas, he's not Canadian. And he's not a crappy writer, so it can't be him.
If the esteemed GGM fell victim to the impulse just by writing a novel (albeit his last), what kind of victim might our query writer be? I'm guessing she paid for her hotel suite with bjs...
ghfoytr - Irishman's call of the wild callgirls
Tim, Security Dog is in Australia...I think he trumps your British card. Sorry.
I want to know when Canadians suddenly qualified for Affirmative Action. Damn those canucks for coming down here and stealing our jobs!
Everyone, sing with me: "Blame Canada!"
Working title: Pretty Boring Woman
tgsbqloj: a hot sauce that causes your tongue to disintegrate.
Canadian whores...that's like saying tiny shrimp isn't it? All I can imagine are the Kids in the Hall in drag with bad French accents.
Hum, Pajiba's running a contest. They need a new slogan. I'd enter but I don't need 2 Pajiba T-shirts and eternal glory.
Feel free to swipe my entry as your own:
Pajiba: The movies that got by QLIL.
"Butterface 8"
Bweaves, I already covered QLIL in my entry. I read your mind.
rfrjbs: Mushmouth asking for a sexual favor.
ttlea: Asking for tea during the first day of DTs.
uphfyc: What you utter when you try to get up to make your own tea during the first day of DTs because no one understands what you're saying.
hbokhfu: Finding out there's no tea.
(I'd stop, but I don't want to know what WV DTs are all about.)
Does this mean Canadian actresses have to play the callgirls, too? I mean, I like Caroline Rhea, but picturing her in that role, well...
xfqno: rejected name for a toasty sandwich chain.
MustangSally: of course we Canadians have affirmative action. How else do you think we stuck Jim Carrey, William Shatner and Celine Dion on you guys?
That reminds me, your lease on Donald Sutherland has expired and we want him back. You can keep Howie Mandel.
What do we get from Canada, anyway? Cold air and bacon
I'm just surprised Marques got his book published with such a retarded title. I suppose it's better than "My Recollection of Sad Sluts" But I'm a Canadian. My opinion probably doesn't count.
"But I'm a Canadian. My opinion probably doesn't count."
Not only does it not count it is annoying that you chose to voice it at all...I mean you are Canadian, just wait until all the U.S. bloggers have written something and then agree with them. If you have anything truly witty or interesting to say you can give your idea to a U.S. blogger or we will gladly grant you citizenship. (Unless you are a dirty Mexican)
-j, what about Kiefer Sutherland? Do we get to keep him? Could some sort of treaty be negotiated? I'd be willing to trade all the Sheen/Estevez brothers to keep Kiefer.
As for Michael J. Fox...you'll get him back when you pry him from our cold dead hands. However, we'll give you Matthew Broderick and your choice of Baldwins in return. Plus, we'll agree to keep that screaming banshee you mentioned and her creepy elderly husband. I think you'll agree this is more than generous on our part.
Mustang Sally: I am English, and I do live in Sydney. However, I am posting this from Los Angeles, and nextTuesday, I'm going to be sipping Kava on a Fijian beach.
I see your Quebecoise and raise you, with a sly, confident smile.
boqgut - Starting centre for the Bucks.
It's true. I shouldn't even be talking!! What was I thinking? Silly Canadian me!
SEVEN WINDOWS CHICK IS BACK!
No wait, she's the Molly Magdalain chick? Close enough. Boobs and guitar strings. What more could we ask for? (Well, more nekkid male cheesecake from Pajiba, but he's ignoring us again.)
cbobbc: Sticky gooey dessert that breaks your teeth that my Mom always brings to family gatherings and nobody ever eats.
Taffy: I went back to Pajiba and searched on your entries. All good!
Did you see that we're voting on the finalists and you got an Honorable Mention in the introduction? Go Taffy!
I voted for, "Pajiba: Saving your life, 2 hours at a time."
My father was Canadian. Till he went to San Diego and decided to be American.
Everytime I'VE seen a call girl they looked like they needed to use the free clinic for STDs and mouth sores. Plus get some more teeth.
asucnsp: A suckn' slimy pastime.
Sharla, I guess the truck stop variety aren't as fascinating... although the shoplifing and storage of small frozen chickens in one's personal space seems more interesting to me than getting beat up by a pimp.
MustangSally: Choice of Baldwins? You mean those aren't all the same guy??
We have reached an agreement. You keep Celine, you can pretty much have your pick of the rest of us. Sorry if we sounded a bit grabby; we just haven't gotten over the Great Trebek-napping of 1973.
I understand, -j., and I am deeply sorry. The Trebek Incident is a shameful part of my nation's history, and we can only hope that future generations will be more respectful in their use of this precious natural resource. The game show host must be protected and allowed to roam unfettered in its native environment.
As long as Celine and her scary mate stay in Las Vegas, where their scary egos are proportional to the outlandish surroundings, we will allow them to remain in the U.S. It's the least we can do for our brothers and sisters in the Great White North.
Hey, how do I post a response on here?
I created an account to find out if I should hate you people to the point of desiring your sterilization via blow torch, or find you funny.
The little "fhudi" things you make up meanings for, do you just make them up or are they found somewhere?
If you people just make them up, and then make meanings for them, well, that is just plain old wrong.
Not just because its an obviously lame thing to do, but because your results are extra ordinally lame.
svbtrch: people who do this should be sterilized via blow torch.
How about... a hooker becomes the next President of the United States... and one night, one of her old customers knock on her door!
And I'm Swedish. That's a sure sell, no?
;-P
(No wait... I think I've seen the trailer for this idea somewhere.)
OK, you probably have been putting this off for some time now. I really wanted to let people know that bad credit can be repaired by bad credit mortgage credit repair FICO and bankruptcy buyout and foreclosure bailout may or may not apply. And that is all I have to say about that (at this time).
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