I personally do not want to read your screenplay
I personally want to do bring back the magic of movies by being unpredictable and creative. I have written a screenplay and I would like to submit it to you for consideration. It is a unique comedy with interesting perspectives about life, death and love.
After his death, a man returns for what he believes is to look after his former lover. However, she has a new flame in the shape of his rival. But the man is a ghost; he can just scare the new man away, right?
Problem is he doesn't know how to scare. The answer, a school that teaches ghosts how to haunt.
posted by The Empress @ 10:03 AM
54 comments
54 Comments:
And here I thought Casper was a virgin.
iwcpvwn: A New Age Faerie name for a Casper porn collection.
We had a kids TV show like that in the 1970s, here in the UK. It was called Rent-A-Ghost and is one of those nostalgia memories. You remember it is great fun but if you actually sat down and watched an episode now you'd die of embarrassment (and then end up a ghost yourself presumably)
Tim Clague
PROJECTOR FILMS
My Blog
I presonally think that this writer cannot do write in what he believes is the English language.
Maybe Hollywood needs a school to teach people how to scare bad writers away.
zxtarikb: the follow-up to Jumanji and Zathura, which takes place inside a giant typewriter.
"I personally want to do bring back the magic of movies by being unpredictable and creative."
Me too. But i fail to see how a ripoff of 1990's "Ghost", starring Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, is creative.
And the "dead man returns as a ghost and visits former lover" vehicle is anything than unpredictable.
Hollywood Ghosts are either back for revenge and murder, or for romance.
raean: word verification characters
..."a new flame in the shape of his rival."
She's already hooked up with a ghost? Or are we talking about a sex doll? Either way, the Haunt School Dropout loses, although he can take comfort knowing he scared her off when he was still alive.
zvlciza: The sound of a leopardskin chiffon-clad ex-diva falling down an elaborate set of stairs, followed by a Manhattan martini and the matching high-heeled slipper responsible for the unfolding drama.
I hope she doesn't burn herself on that rival-shaped flame. Perhaps that's how the first guy died.
I'm also interested to see that "taking care of her" apparently equates to "keeping her celibate".
"I personally want to do bring back the magic of movies by being unpredictable and creative."
I personally want to bring back the dinosaurs like they did in "Jurassic Park". I think my chances of success are about as good as this writer's.
iqwah- A person so stupid they make you want to cry.
allow me to be predictable and non-creative: pass.
ps - 'ghost school' is not a bad idea
pps - learn english
ppps - come to the point - it's assumed you have a) written a script, and b) would like to submit it for, c) consideration
what are you going to ask for next? us to read the script which you have written and sent to us for our consideration, which we now have in our possession? hmm?
Tim Clague 'Rent-a-Ghost' was the starting point for many a thesp: Jeremy Irons, step forward.
There was also a great English film called 'School for Scoundrels', with Terry Thomas and Ian Carmichael, about a guy who loses his girl to a cad, then wins her back...by going to the school for scoundrels. It spawned the fabulous term for commiserating with a tennis opponent by saying "Hard cheese, old boy, hard cheese".
Marvellous stuff.
Well, it certainly is creative that he is not against his rival, but someone shaped like his rival. They don’t normally do that in predictable and uncreative movies.
"Ghost" + "Beetlejuice" = Crap
hence the working title of beetle-crap.
upiwtzfz: a child's kite shaped like monroe's dress in some like it hot.
At last I understand what true love is: it's the willingness to transend death to fuck up another person's love life.
Wouldn't it be easier to just kill her? Then they can make mad passionate ghost love for all eternity...or until she finds out that he's a psycho who had her whacked.
The School of Boo?
I find the idea of the former lover having sex with a lit blowtorch to be strangely compelling.
Maybe I shouldn't have told that.
ctckucjx - the sound of her hair crisping in the heat.
Ah. Casper, the needy, controlling ghost. I like it. Just lose the whole dying bit. I heard stalker scripts are hot right now.
I love the phrase "want to do bring back" but ya'll have already da do done done that one to death.
"It is a unique comedy," i.e. NOT FUNNY.
jpjro: A Japanese J.Lo impersonator.
"But the man is a ghost; he can just scare the new man away, right?"
So, the new boyfriend is a ghost as well? This chick needs some therapy.
How does one not know how to scare? I hope I come back as a ghost, I have a pretty damn good idea how to scare people. All it seems to take is opening and closing some doors to freak people out. This is evinced by an episode of Ghost Hunters or something similar (yes, I was bored, Scrubs isn't back on yet and Rome is over, damnit) I saw where a door was opening and closing ALL BY ITSELF. This show was an hour long. They even investigated and found there were no strings or ANYTHING. Unfortunately, I am impressionable (not to mention gullible) and this scared the shit out of me.
nwhtvy: Nit wits (like myself) watching TV.
Yeah, I don't get the whole "doesn't know how to scare" thing, either. A ghost can scare people just by being there and not moving. You know, cold air, whispy image in the air. What makes him think he has to actually DO something? Of course, he'll scare off the girlfriend, too.
knkyiq: Ghost sex.
Hey Mr. Screenwriter man,
Take a class for me.
Google is your friend.
Mac.
-------------------------------
Title: Haunting For Dummies
Agent: None
Genre: Comedy
Synopsis:
A ghost called Dale returns for what he believes is to look after his former lover, Clarissa. However, she has a new flame in the shape of Seth. But Dale a ghost; he can just scare Seth away. Problem is Dale doesn't know how to haunt. The answer, a school that teaches ghosts to be scary.
Added: 2005-12-01 12:14:36-05
Heck this isn't just a rip off of Ghost, this is a rip off of ALWAYS (Holly Hunter, Richard Dreyfus, John Goodman, late 80s, early 90s), which was, in turn, a remake of "A Guy Named Joe", (Spencer Tracy, WW2 flick).
In both movies a pilot (male Tracy/Dreyfys) has a thing for a pilot (female ??/Hunter). Pilot (male) is promptly killed in a crash (fatal/fiery/spectacular visual effect). Then pilot (M) comes back as a ghost to watch over pilot (F). However pilot (F) moves on with her life, with the help of Pilot Male #2 (type: Cutie/alive).
Pilot Male #2 (cute/alive) then gets a very dangerious assignment. Pilot F can not face the pain of having a SECOND boyfriend toasted in a spectacular visual effect so she runs off and steals pilot male #2 (cute/alive)'s plane and undertakes the mission herself.
Pilot #1 (male/dead) now has to get over his envy and jellousy and help pilot (F) NOT die in a crash (type fatal/firey/spectacular visual effect). There is of course absolutely no doubt at all that she WILL crash without Pilot #1 (dead/MALE)'s aid because we all know GIRLS can't REALLY fly or do guy stuff very well. (Isn't it cute when they try though?).
Even though female pilot (there's only one) crashing would mean that MALE pilot #1 could go off and make wild ghost love with female pilot for all eternity, male pilot #1 (type dead) decides to help female pilot (alive/cute/not as good as a guy pilot) survive so she go back to male pilot #2 (type cute/alive) and be the wife and 2.5 kid mommie women are supposed to be.
After this plot climax that is so incredibly sexist that even I am offended by it, our female pilot (still alive and cute) flys back to base and her inevitable court martial/firing/disiplinary hearing/slap on the wrist 'cuse she's only a cute girl and don't know no better. She's feeling good about life and the fact she showed she's just as good a pilot as the boy pilots are (even though we all know she isn't 'cuse she's a GIRL!). Pilot #1 (type male and dead) flies off to heaven knowing that his job is done.
At this point the credits roll and the audience looks up from their barf bags and leaves the building.
aiuyuwx - Ancient Hittite war chief, defeated the Assyrians at the Battle of Penlies 358 B.C.
This is bizarre. The pitch is clearly the 'Haunting for Dummies' added to www.TheScreenwritersMarketPlace.com on 1-Dec-2005, but the exact same story & title was optioned in 11-Aug-2004. (By a different writer)
Mac
(PS: Colby's summary reads much better than the one we've been critiquing!)
-------------
From ScriptSales.com:
Title: Haunting For Dummies
Log Line: A risk-averse scaredy-cat, who dies an untimely death, is subsequently sent to Ghost Boot Camp to learn how to scare the living. When he completes training and is finally sent down to earth as part of the Ghost Forces, he must not only haunt the living (hard for a man who is afraid of his own shadow), but also tie up his own emotional baggage so that he can move on from Limbo to heaven.
Writer: Colby Jensen
Buyer: Colleen Camp Genre: Comedy
Logged: 8/11/04
More: Option. Colby Jensen will revise his script "Hauntedwood. " Colleen Camp Productions' Colleen Camp to produce.
I personally would like to do see a movie titled Ghost meets Beetlejuice.
hoviofvk: the sound one makes when reading this query.
He wants to scare the new man away...hmm why doesn't he stick his ghost hand up his "former lovers" butt and do a ventriloquist act using the words “marriage” and “children”… that will scare the shit out of him.
Wherein Patrick Swayze, instead of bothering Whoopi or any nasty potmaking, says, "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" to mess with his murderer...
...or would it just be a cage-match between Swayze and Beetlejuice?
Or rather, stick a hand up the rival's butt...thought he may like it...
I don't know whether to congratulate Crappy Writer or pity him...one one hand, nobody knows comedy like a woman whose husband dumps her for a man... but on the other, the woman may actually be blind and lacking even the most basic grasp on reality.
Mac, that IS bizarre, because THIS crappy writer is both unpredictable and creative. He/She can be neither of those things if they have lifted someone else's crappy idea.
Working title: My Boo.
fyjps: fish with the hiccups.
Hey Pajiba: What gives? No more male cheesecake? Just cheese? Even a nekkid woman is better than Colin Feral (sic).
I agree with BWeaves.
This sounds like a bad Bo Derek film (some would say that after "10," such a phrase is redundant) from the late eighties called "Ghosts Can't Do It," which also had Julie Newmar in a small role and a pre-"Apprentice" Donald Trump! (Julie has been active in real estate for many years; wonder if the Trumpster gave her some advice?)
magwrx: the factory where Heckle and Jeckle found employment after retiring from the cartoon biz.
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