Let's play 'shake' the baby!!!! That sounds dirty.
My screenplay is about a cynical , hard driving Public Defender who represents a woman who operates a day care facility, who is charged with 'shaking' and killing a child, and the nightmare she endures until our Public Defender becomes involved.
Wanna see it?
posted by The Empress @ 10:14 AM
51 comments
51 Comments:
No.
I thought this was about the Public Defender, but I guess not, because it's about the defendant's nightmare BEFORE the Public Defender comes on the scene.
I'll only watch this if Meg plays the Public Defender, and it's Fight Court with babies.
No thank you.
So, she 'shakes' a child until it dies, and then is sad because she gets in trouble. Are we supposed to have sympathy for her?
"Are we supposed to have sympathy for her?"
Of course not. Everyone knows that babies should be stirred, not shaken: otherwise, you'll bruise the vermouth.
lrbol: the open source object-oriented COBOL compiler.
Sentence was too long so I took out a few words.
"A Public Defender represents a woman charged will killing a child and become involved."
kupyl: when two people become involved
Public Defender enters the stuffy little cement box where they keep the chocolate box assortment of morning arraignments. He makes a futile effort at smoothing down the creases in his plaid Public Defender suit, then uses gum to stick his combover back in place. He notices his defendant, the only female, weeping mascara down her ruined face. "There's no need to fear," he says. "Underdog is here!"
This query could have been written by any one of the Public Defenders I've come across.
anvtdn: The sound of an ancient briefcase being halfway unzipped, then dropped onto the floor when someone enters with day-old Krispy Kreme donuts.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This needs some Harry Belafonte.
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her little head.
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her till she's dead.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Make her parents red.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Fill them full of dread.
De baby's name was Senora.
I tell you, I didn't kill her,
And now I'm charged with her murder,
So I'm asking, will you please be my lawyer?
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat line, that de baby was fine.
Whoa!
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her little head. Whoa!
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her till she's dead.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Make her parents red.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Fill them full of dread.
So I ran a day care center,
For months the baby had stayed here,
But then one day she stopped a-breathing.
I called her parents and they were a-seething.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
You didn't kill de child!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Somebody, help me!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Whoa!
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her little head.
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her till she's dead. Whoa!
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Make her parents red. Yep!
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Fill them full of dread.
Senora, she was a crib death.
I was in de room her at her last breath.
I tell ya, this is a nightmare.
If I get out of this, I'll get out of day care.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Raise your voice a little higher!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Cry your eyes out!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Whoa-a!
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her little head.
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her till she's dead.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Make her parents red.
Kill, kill, kill de baby.
Fill them full of dread.
Senora, she's up in heaven,
A terrific place to be dead in.
I hope that I don't soon meet her,
Or otherwise to go up de river.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you.
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Somebody, help me!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
OK, I believe you!
Repeat de line, that de baby was fine.
Whoaaaaaaa!
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her little head.
Shake, shake, shake de baby.
Shake her till she's dead.
Kill, kill, kill de baby!
bargaintuan: I'm impressed.
skmnly: the sound of the Public Defender as he skiis manly down the mountain after losing his heart, his money, his mind, and then has to flee the country.
bargaintuan, you are my hero.
myabe the scary chick with the gun in the guantanamo ad on the right would like to play the part of the nanny?
how's fran drescher's new show doing? maybe she'd be available to reprise her role as a nanny :)
bargaintuan, thank you...I laughed so hard I snorted hot tea out my nose...now my sinuses are all clear! Of course now I feel terrible for laughing at such a tragic subject, good thing I'm not Catholic or I'd have to go to confession.
rzdyqatv - snoop dogg's new porn network
All class, Bargaintuan.
The twist in the plot is where it seems that it's all been a horrific, stress-related accident. Then the prosecution brings in evidence item number four, a heavy-duty ACME Vibrating Paint Mixer.
You guys are missing the point. The baby wasn't shaken, it was "shaken." Clearly, there's a difference, people!
If the baby's head falls off as a result of the "shaking", then I'd like to see that. But the film MUST include the "head-popped-off" scene. Otherwise, it'll be a dud for SURE.
npavln: A Navahoe word for the destructive nature of sub-par day care facility operators.
Dwight's comment made me snort ice water out of my nose, which is a less soothing liquid to the sinuses than hot tea. Then Bargainutan's song nearly sent me into convulsions of suppressed laughter.
Marry me, Dwight. (Bargaintuan is already taken.)
Dead babies. So 2004.
zbetev: Russian vodka with a dead baby chaser.
perhaps Meg can advise - which is worse being charged with shaking or being charged with killing a baby. It looks like two separate charges to me.
Could you use shaking because of the DTs or heroin withdrawal as a defence in a baby-killing case. "I had no control over my limbs"... actually that sounds like it would make an interesting Hallmark movie.
And who is this Public Defender guy or gal. I've checked all my DC and Marvel comics and I still can't seem to come up with him. Is he like a watered down Superman, Batman-lite or Spidey for the decaff generation?
xluhqq
sound a room full of toddlers make as rthey quieten down after seeing the new new baby-sitting movie - "Shaken, won't stir".
How old is the 'shaken' child? Are we talkin about that cute little girl (could be plyed by Dakota Fanning) with the magic sunglasses?
cyrth: sound of magic sunglasses breaking while owner is being 'shaken'
hum. when submitting such a rubbish premise maybe it's better not to close with "want to see it?"
the answer will invariably be "um, no".
except if dakota fanning's head is going to fall off.
Everybody, get on the floor, let's play!
Don't fight your feelings, kill it now, OK!
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby.
You can, you can do it, no one can tell.
The baby's head didn't even swell.
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby.
Shake shake, shake shake!
Shake shake, shake shake!
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your baby! Shake your baby.
OK, I'm no Bargaintuan. Then again, I didn't have much to work with.
qefeqob: Babymeat shisk-kabobs.
I've had the best laugh at these comments that I've had in a long while. I love how dead babies can bring out the best in our little community.
qnqpgel: An additive used in Austrian babies to stop the vermouth bruising.
I first read this as the Pubic Defender, which puts a completely different spin on things. Although The Pubic Defender would make an awesome superhero.
wezud: The act of falling asleep mid-sentence.
hazbear: As an Austrian, I was highly offended by your word verification. Please, it's only the Germans who say that - we Austrians use schnapps!
lxeqbx: false assumption on the part of writers that they'll rake in the big bucks if they include cute kids in their queries
I know you can b*tch slap a person, but can you b*tch shake a person? Whoever thought of this logline needs a b*tch shaking.
hmm. i believe the question is 'wanna see it?' wanna... that's nice. that's short for 'want to'. thank you so much for that adroit verbiage. i do so much appreciate it. but, i digress. back to the issue, shall we?
do i want to see this? you mean on a friday night after a hard week at the office, fighting traffic, not getting enough sleep - with my date; who i want to get back to my place. do i want to see a fucking courtroom drama and some god damned baby shaking? is that the fucking question?
well. no. i don't wanna.
ps - go straight to hell
"Wanna see it?" is so interesting really in terms of film query word choices, because it has that roiling slimy feeling of a greasy guy in a long trenchcoat who's peddling watches down the alley from the theater where this snuff film is showing. And if you say yes, he'll flash you a dead baby.
smfdecso: a paste used as a pubic defender when out in the alley behind the snuff film house.
cinekat: I appologise. I got my germanic cocktails mixed up. Of course it's German, I should have remembered I used it during my 5 years under cover in East Berlin during the cold war.
dqovpu: East German substitute for qnqpgel used during the cold war derived from the suff that comes out of the wrong end of dogs.
No problem, haz_bear01, I know how these undercover identities can lead to language confusion...
zltxkh: undercover East German baby bitch slap
Cinekat and Haz_bear sitting in a tree,
Making B A B I E's.
Advice to Allan Klein: You will be haunted (and deservedly so!) if you give the filmmakers the rights to use Sam Cooke's "Shake" on the soundtrack.
yixtyxe: How a one-time Yippie, now lobotomized, remembers his halcyon days.
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