Friday, September 16, 2005

I beg to differ, my good man: time started before earth's landscape. Even the Bible says that.

"Logline: Once you have the code, you have the key to creation.

Genre: Action/Sci-fi

At the dawn of mankind there was a genetic code, the key to creation. Now a rogue scientist has discovered this code and plans to use it to create a new mankind. The only problem is, the old one will have to make way for it. Already, a mythological beast has arisen and more will follow. A man has been contacted by another man, who believes that his father, a scientist, has discovered this ancient code. As a new mankind is ushered in, so the old one will become obsolete. It falls to the first man to follow the clues across a landscape as old as time itself.The race is on to find the code and stop the apocalypse."

114 Comments:

At 10:44 AM, Blogger isolde said...

Wait, the first man ... and then another man.... and then his father .... and a scientist in there somewhere also ...

My head hurts. Also, why do they need to race to find the code if the first man already found it?

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger katiescarlet said...

"Now a rogue scientist has discovered this code and plans to use it to create a new mankind. The only problem is, the old one will have to make way for it."

Isn't the rogue scientist part of the "old one" and won't he to "have to may way"? So, essentially, he's committing suicide and taking the world with him.

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger Tenpenny_nail said...

A man is going to use the old genetic code to create a new race of men, and one of the new creations is a mythological (old) beast? And the new man has to find the old code to destroy the new code? So the old will make something new that is also old? What the hell???? This query is confusing and irritating!

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger VP19 said...

Based upon the evolution theme and the ridiculous premise, this film can have but one title: "Intelligence Resign."

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger max power said...

A man, contacted by another man, who misuses, commas everywhere, doesn't, know when, to stop, using commas.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Max, under the new code this writer's grammar is actually correct.

Also under the new code no one has a name.

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger dodgeperry said...

We've seen a previous draft of this query a few months ago. Nice to know that the screenwriter is out there, tenaciously re-writing his script (or at least the query letter.)

P.S. Do you ever wonder what would happen if one of these clearly delusional people were able to hack the blog and track us down?

For now on, I,m posting all my negative comments under the name
reg dunlop.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger dodgeperry said...

Obviously, I'm also starting a new grammatical trend of using commas in place of apostrophes.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

If the mythological beast has risen, he (of course it's got to be a boy given the query) isn't really still mythological right? He'd be real.

This is really about Hollywood, right?

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger ThisisJoe said...

Sigh. When the world is in danger, it's always "the man's" fault for holding down the hero. I think "the man" should hold down this query writer...and beat him with a heavy stick.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger Diana Peterfreund said...

Why is it that none of these people seem to be able to tell the diffrence between a log line and a tagline?

Or has that horse already been soundly thrashed?

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger hoover said...

See if this helps:

At the dawn of mankind there was a genetic code [FLUBBER], the key to creation. Now a rogue scientist [EMILIO] has discovered this code and plans to use it to create a new mankind [ASSBOTS]. The only problem is, the old one [BEA ARTHUR] will have to make way for it. Already, a mythological beast [CHYMOLARA] has arisen and more will follow [CHYMOLORI]. A man [KEVIN] has been contacted by another man [LEROY], who believes that his father [LEROY SR.], a scientist, has discovered this ancient code. As a new mankind is ushered in, so the old one will become obsolete. It falls to the first man [KEVIN] to follow the clues across a landscape as old as time itself [TOLEDO OHIO] .The race is on to find the code and stop the apocalypse."

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Larry Rasczak said...

"Once you have the code, you have the key to creation."

Which is EXACTLY why they tell you to never write it on the back of your ATM card.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger kojled said...

i see. so when this new race of people is started, all the scientist will have to then is wait several million years for the poplulation of the new people to reach the needed level to create an army and overthrow (supplant? destroy?) our present population.

is that this evil genius scientist's plan?

i very much like the character 'man'. although, i don't find him as compelling as 'another man'.

you know what? i've fallen in love with this. i'm going to do this - for real. i will start a new mankind tonight. prepare for apocalypse - eta, one hundred million years. (insert evil laugh)

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger jaimilyn said...

I'm glad someone else recognized this as another draft of a previous letter. I was afraid I'd gained psychic powers of foretelling, but if they were only usable for deja vu sequences of crappy query letters, I would be bummed at the lameness of my superpowers.

Or, maybe I'm one of those new humans.

Wonder if they could twilight zone this somehow so it's about dinosaurs, and humans are the new master race... BC Phil, how about it?

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Larry Rasczak said...

"A man has been contacted by another man..."

Sounds like one of those gay friend finder websites Penlies hangs out at....(how do you think he got those anal warts?).

Seriously, why don't these people ever use NAMES? What, do they think that the great name they came up with for their hero is going to get stolen? Like anyone is going to go "OHH... Reggie Dunlop! What a great name!! I NEVER would have thought of that!" Get with it folks, there is a whole big book of names out there, it's called THE WHITE PAGES! Nobody is going to "steal" your exciting idea of naming your hero "Midwestern State Smith", or "Alexander McClintock".

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger ThisisJoe said...

I'm working on a similar movie script. Except the key to saving the world was left in the pocket of a famous artist hundreds of years ago. I'm calling it "DaVinci's Coat."

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

I have an unstoppable urge, as old as time itself, to rewrite this so that it at least makes sense to me:

Logline: Once you have the cola, you have the key to recreation.

Genre: Female-Driven Rom-Com

At the dawn of mankind, there was a generic cola, the key to recreation. Now a rogue 68 year-old party boy named Eddie has discovered this cola and plans to spike it with gin to recreate with a little tart named Bootsie. The only problem is, his old tart, Babs, will have to make way for the new tart. With this news, Babs has transformed into a great big mythological beast with a razor-like "no-no place" and breasts as lethal as baseballs stuffed into the toes of gym socks.

Meanwhile, at the picnic down the river a bit, a man named Fernando has been having contact with a clown named Uncle Pickles, who believes his father, a convenience store clerk named Eddie, has discovered this ancient cola and has hideous plans to add the devil's own tonic--moonshine--to it. (This is what happens when you hear things third-hand.) This should usher in a new mankind who is partial to meth labs, trailer parks, and moonshine sans the ancient cola--making the old mankind, and shoes, obsolete. It falls to Fernando (because he's way hotter than the alcoholic clown and will rake in more female viewers) to follow the clues across a landscape as old as strip malls themselves.

The race is on to find the cola, knock out Eddie, say the mythological beast created it from a burning juniper bush, and get this "theory" taught in evolution class.

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger Carter said...

The return of the finding man! I wondered where he had gone.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

I see another problem with this, as I'm assuming the new race will have to start off as infants like everyone else. Won't we, the ones who are to make way, have to babysit this new mankind until they are old enough to kick our asses? I know if I had to watch one, I would hesitate to sign it up for karate classes. I would probably be more inclined to push it toward viola lessons or make it a lot of cookies so it would like us and not want to extinguish our tiny little flame. Or I would simply kill it in its sleep with a rock.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger pynlies said...

Larry,

I agree, where are all the new women to go with this "new mankind”? Is it a new master race of gay men? If so I believe the code is two knocks and a tap on the stall for bare-backing, and two taps and a knock for some tea-bagging.

“Queer Eye for the Science Guy”

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger pynlies said...

Gays are such easy targets....if ya know what i mean.

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Penlies: We always know what you mean. That's why it's disturbing.

Um, haven't we already discovered the ginetic code? It's DNA. Whose father is a scientist exactly?

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger COLOfilm said...

SHAGGY: Zoinks, Scoob. Like, that's not a mythological beast... that's Man #2's dad, Older Man.

SCOOBY: Right, Raggy.

VELMA: But apparently this whole scheme was cooked up just so he could pass on his genetic code to Daphne.

OLDER MAN: And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids... and that mangy mutt... and old mankind.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger dodgeperry said...

Excuse me if this has been mentioned, but if this genetic code was there at the dawn of mankind, wouldn't the new man be Austrolipheticus afarensis (I googled it) like Lucy?

So the new mankind would consist of all infant (according to
Taffy), gay male (according to Larry and pynlies), primitive brain-powered, no tool using, non speaking apelike people of nearly four foot adult heighth?

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Dodge: You have described not only most defendants I see every day, but their lawyers too.

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Mustang Sally said...

Um, don't we all carry the genetic code that was the key to creation? Isn't it called DNA, and hasn't it been pretty well-known for awhile? Heck, I recall learning about that back in the 80s, and that was before the internet.

Also, I agree with Taffy about the inherent unfairness of all of us having to tend to the new mankind babies that are just going to replace us when they hit puberty. That bites. I bet that rogue scientist won't even pay us for babysitting, and he'll probably lock out all the good pay channels on cable before he leaves. And he'll be all like, "The kids aren't allowed to have chips and soda so we don't keep those in the house. Help yourself to the organic fruit juice and bran muffins, though."

Rogue scientists are such wankers.

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger pynlies said...

The key to “creation” isn't DNA its sex. Shocking I know, it took me a few babies to figure this out myself. I know all scientists are virgins and have a hard time correlating sex with anything other than movies but sex actually can make a "new mankind" and yes the old ones do die to make room. This is the process that most of us are familiar with but to a guy who lives his life in a Petri dish it can be very confusing and a little scary.

“mythological beast has arisen and more will follow”

You only have yourself to blame for your crappy kids. Beat them!

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

The only things this query is missing (and it ain't more commas) are a boat trip and strange but true facts about Florida.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger BWeaves said...

MADLIB:

At the dawn of mankind there were Neandethals. Now a new mankind, Homosapiens, has arrived with a new genetic code. The only problem is, the Neandethals will have to make way for the Homos. Already the dinosaurs have arisen and more will follow. The race is on to find the meteor that will cause the apocalypse and wipe out all life as we know it.

Title: 3 Billion Years BC II.

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger annumarie said...

I don't like this query. But I do appreciate the rogue scientist, new mankind, old mankind, mythological beast, a man, another man, father/scientist, first man, old landscape, time, code, and apocalypse. You know, if you give some of these awesomely named characters some powers and call them mutants you have an X-Men movie.

 
At 3:13 PM, Blogger classymac said...

Why is it that in high school, the career of "rogue" scientist, archaelogist, geneticist, math professor or home economics instructors were never offered? I'm sure more kids would have chosen those careers. I'm changing my resume to read "rogue management supervisor". Sounds very nifty I think.

Rogue out.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun said...

Wow, and both Google ads at the bottom of the comments are about Creation....they must be psychic!

Comment from God, "So you're going to create a new race."

Man: "Yes, indeedy, I've got the code. I can do it!"

God: "Good, but now get your own dirt!"

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

I remember this game:

Man, man, man, man, SCIENTIST!

Then everybody runs around in a circle.

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger RockSteady said...

"The race is on to find the code and stop the apocalypse," but didn't the writer already tell us that the rogue scientist already has it? So it's not really that big of a mystery, is it?

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Alanna Panzer said...

How would a dozen, even a hundred, test-tube babies replace over six billion people?

And if you're going to have two nameless people, make them "man" and "woman" or "man" and "guy" instead of "man" and "another man". Just sayin'.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Christopher Coulter said...

Anyone who uses the phrase "the race is on", is guaranteed to have their query 'race to' the garbage. Cliche' city.

Seriously tho, people should just spec it up (would learn formatting if nothing else) and hire a brutally honest reader and rewrite it to death and then some...and then some more and more, until it shines. Everything is ever always a First Draft. If it never manages to shine, maybe not the ideal career choice.

I am thinking that most of these queries don't even have 10 pages of script behind them, just random pipe-dreams. But no one jumps at ideas from outsiders, they hardly jump for spec's, and Josh was recently saying (depressingly so) that during his stint as a reader 2 out of 500 specs made it, and he passed on the 2 that did.

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Larry Rasczak said...

Bweaves said
"At the dawn of mankind there were Neandethals. Now a new mankind, Homosapiens, has arrived with a new genetic code. The only problem is, the Neandethals will have to make way for the Homos."

Technically you are right, this is absolutely true. Towards the end of the last ice age our ancestors, the Cro-Magnon's moved into Europe from the Middle East and found it was already inhabited by Neaderthals. We solved this problem quite nicely, we hunted them down to extinction. (The most recient Neaderthal skeletons were found in southern Spain, by Gibraltar, within sight of the African shore. We just kept hunting them and pushing them south till they had nowhere left to go, and then we killed the last survivors off.)

There is only one speices of Man on this planet because we killed off all the other ones. Sort of tells you something about human nature don't it?

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

It tells me that all the bad, disgruntled query writers will kill off all the good query writers and then all we'll have is shit in Hollywood. Oh, wait, it's almost finished happening...

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger but_seriously said...

I am still trying to figure out where the mythological beast comes in.

This query make creationism appealing.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

I'm wondering if creationism started off as a query letter.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Mustang Sally said...

I'm with Classymac. I think we should all add the word rogue to our job titles. It makes going to work a little more fun, and office managers will think twice about questioning our expense accounts.

Unless, of course, we're dealing with a rogue office manager. Then we're screwed.

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger annumarie said...

So...I am a rogue news agent??? Gee I feel better about myself.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Security Dog said...

I'm betting one of the men chain-smokes Marlboro, and that there's a woman who was abducted by aliens, and there's some kinda sexual chemistry going on between her and another man who lives in a filing cabinet and gets sacked from his job at the start of every day for being 'too close to the truth (which is out there), but gets re-instated because he's 'too dangerous', and there's also a group of geeks with X-Treme gadgets that are in cahoots with the man who lives in his rolladex, and there will be a new mankind in giant test-tubes under the Antarctic pole and they won't be men, they will be aliens that are frozen and need old 'mankind' to have eggs in their stomachs, which will burst out with baked beans and stuff.

Pass.

 
At 3:07 AM, Blogger haz_bear01 said...

So I'm a Rogue Technical Support Assistant? I like it...

"...following customers accross a landscape as old as time itself. The race is on against a re-booting PC"

 
At 6:51 AM, Blogger BWeaves said...

Hum, all my ads are for Creationism, which brings to mind this fun little bit of satire:

http://thepaincomics.com/weekly041229.htm

It's a cartoon about Science Vs. Norse Creationism.

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger Blog ho said...

i've got the code too...if anyone needs it.

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Dan said...

Sounds like the new race could be called "Australopatheticus."

Even if you put this in an alternative universe (a trash can is a handy alternative), it still makes no sense and is just plain stupid. Here's a scary thought: if there are an infinity of alternative universes, then there are an infinity of queries like this, some of them possibly worse than this one. I think the boundaries between universes is starting to leak and we are seeing bad queries from other alternatives in this universe.

Sorry, I've been reading physics books this weekend!

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

BWeaves, that was funny and true.

 
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