Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I hate to burst your bubble, but...................

"A group of Louisville, Kentucky college students are looking to have some fun to celebrate the upcoming Halloween holiday. They have already been to all the haunted attractions in the area and found them to be quit boring. They come across an old Haunted House that is no longer in business and has been shut down for many years. However, they found it on the internet and have no clue as to were the place actually is located. One of the group memebers asks a fellow college student about the haunted house. This student is into haunted and creepy things. Unfortuneately for them he does know where it is located and strikes a deal with the guy to lead them up there. Once there they meet there worst nightmares. The Haunted House is no longer empty is contains all the workers that worked there, as well as some of the customers. Each worker was turned into what they were dressed as and begin to kill off the members of the group one by one. They fight for there survival as they unwillingly journy through the house.

I feel that my story is different from other haunted house stories because I include several different characters and creatures (such as zombies, vampires, demons, and werewolves) that would be found in a haunted house. I also included a few twists in the script to keep the veiwers attention and make the story more interesting. I hate to give away the ending but it is something that I have rarely, if ever, seen done before. As all horror movies show, the hero goes back to try and save the others. My main character does not. He feels no remorse for thier deaths and believes that it is not his fault but there own because they were the ones that wanted to go. He walks to his car calmly and unafraid and drives away. Also, the script was written to sort of tribute to other classic horror films. The names of the characters are based on the actor and character that were in the movie, or based on characters in the moive.

I tried to give each character a different personality and characteristics. There is a mixture of elements too. There is plenty of action and horror. As all horror movies have, but there is also comedy, romance and suspence."

230 Comments:

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Best line of this worthless, poorly written piece of shit:

"I tried to give each character a different personality and characteristics."

You failed.

I also particularly enjoyed the following gem:

"I hate to give away the ending but it is something that I have rarely, if ever, seen done before."

So, you may have stolen this idea, but maybe not?

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger Storm said...

You have truly got to be kidding. This has to be one of the worst things that I have ever read. Please let me write the rejection letter. PLEASE!!!

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

"A group of Louisville, Kentucky college students are looking to have some fun to celebrate the upcoming Halloween holiday."

Ok writer, I'll take it from here.

They decide to get a keg and get plastered, like every other college student. Being that it's Halloween, the women wear slutty cat-woman, slutty nurse, or slutty maid outfits. The men are dressed as ghosts (bedsheet with holes), dracula (big plastic fangs, red shirt), or some sort of thing that allows them to use thier exposed penis as either a trunk, a nose, or a horn for some animal/being drawn on thier crotch. After the party some of the students pass out and vomit on themselves, some of them engage in drunken sex that falls perfectly between consentual and rape, and several of them engage in either multi-partner or same sex fiascoes that will be remembered forever with different degrees of fondness/regret but will all be "forgotten" in a drunken haze the next morning, only to be "remembered" again when everyone involved is drunk enough to repeat the act a week or two later. The End.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Ahhh, Reg, you're bringing a tear to my eye with all the memories.

Good times.

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Reg Dunlop said...
My elephant costume from sophmore year was a hit. As was my flasher costume from junior year.

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger kp said...

I like Reg's movie better.

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger Meg said...

My friends and I went as the Witches of Eastwick (as I am a redhead, and they were blonde and brunette, respectively), but sluttier.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Wow Meg, sluttier than Cher? That's slutty!

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger penlies said...

"There is a mixture of elements too"

Cool, some good ol’ fashion haunted Halloween chemistry! Do they have a spooky pipette too?

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

Honestly, my cat walking across the keyboard can spell better than this "writer".

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

My bad Meg. I guess Susan Sarandon was the redhead. She's not even honorable mention in sluttiness when Cher is involved.

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger sharpie said...

I wonder what happens to the person that gets bit by the zombie, vampire, and warewolf all at the same time. Now that would be cool. I better go start me script for "Zampolf!"

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger dub_vee said...

"There is a mixture of elements too. There is plenty of action and horror. As all horror movies have, but there is also comedy, romance and suspence."

wow, a mixture of action and horror? few movies, if any, do that. and i love the next sentence(s).

it reminds me of this kid i went. to school with in middle school he would piss off teachers by talking. like this if the teacher asked him. to read

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger Meg said...

You're forgiven, Reg. Think more Jessica Rabbit than Susan Sarandon and you're closer to the mark.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Yowza wowza said...

So...their's this haunted house, they found it on the internet. Its no longer in business, but they were able to find it, but no one knows about it except some weirdo student of haunted houses, who unfortunately for them (and us) was able to locate it. They're-in live the ghosts of everyone who ever worked their. Are all these people dead? Maybe the real story is how the haunted house is going around killing everyone who ever worked in it. I wish I had worked in it, cause then I'd be dead and could haunt this writer.

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger but_seriously said...

This is what Capote meant when he said, 'That's not writing, that's typing.' Only in this case, really bad typing.

Please, Empress, send the typist a dictionary and The Chicago Manual of Style.

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

Zoinks!

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger SpaceMonkey said...

Jeepers!

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger Bobbie Mac said...

were wolf?

their wolf. their castle.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Blog ho said...

migh monies on de zombeez

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Vivalos said...

Apparently, college students are only incapable of writing about other college students.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Security Dog said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Security Dog said...

Yowee!!

This happenes EVERY weekend in my part of Sydney, except the haunted house is the local Catholic female only college.

Reg, you need to update your part to include the fat kid in the Grim Reaper costume who blackmails everybody with phone-photo's, and you also need to change the keg to a pile of pills. I mean, here we even have our horses doing blow.

http://dailytelegraph.news.com.au/story.jsp?sectionid=1260&storyid=3509648

Meg, can you just write one more slutty sentence? Ya see, I'm...nearly....there.....OOOOHHH!!

Don't bother.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger scribe called steff said...

Dear Empress--

I have written a spellbindingly great horror movie.

In it, a writer conjures a middling script query, spellchecks it, and sends it out, only to find out later, much to his horror, that all the words he's mispelled are imperceptible to the spellcheck, because he's completely unable to avoid substituting homynyms for what he's really trying to say.

The movie fades out on a shot of the writer falling upon a fountain pen, magnaminously taking his own life for the good of scribes everywhere.

Regards,
ScribeCalledSteff.

Now... if only life could imitate art.

Splat.

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Sidhedevil said...

Didn't they have any slutty-cheerleader outfits at your college, Reg? They were very popular at my school.

You also forgot the debate/politics nerd who makes an elaborate and stupid costume and then bores everyone into a coma telling them what it means. I want the "wherewolves" to eat him first.

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Sidhedevil said...

Now, did reading this query just make my brain stupid? Or is this as nonsensical as I think it is?

I feel that my story is different from other haunted house stories because I include several different characters and creatures (such as zombies, vampires, demons, and werewolves) that would be found in a haunted house.

He feels "that my story is different from other haunted house stories" because he includes "characters and creatures...that would be found in a haunted house"?

How in the sweet holy name of fuck does that make it different? Now, if he'd included some characters that wouldn't be found in a haunted house--and I'm leaning toward you-know-whats with chicken feet--he might be on to something.

 
At 3:29 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

I like that the protagonist is a psychopath.

I also like that the "writer" tells us about the names of the characters, but still doesn't use any in the query. Steve and Betty, again.

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger COLOfilm said...

Working Titles:
Being Their
A League of There Own
or... Are We They're Yet?

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

Holy crap that's a bad query. I mean I didn't read all of it because I fell asleep halfway through, but I'm pretty sure it's very bad.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

How about "I Don't Give A Fuck What You Did Last Halloween?"

Best. Line.Ever. -
"There is a mixture of elements too."

Although here's a guy after my own heart: "the hero goes back to try and save the others. My main character does not. He feels no remorse for thier deaths and believes that it is not his fault but there own because they were the ones that wanted to go. He walks to his car calmly and unafraid and drives away."

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

A final point: "There" is NOT "Their", nor is it "They're". Learn the difference. If English is not your first language, then please have someone who knows English well proofread your crap before you send it out.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger RockSteady said...

For Christ's sake, learn how to fucking spell already. Look into getting some lessons in basic grammar while you're at it.

If the main guy is calm and unafraid, and just drives away when people start getting killed, what's the rest of the movie about? I mean, he's the main character, right? Does he just go back to his dorm room and play XBox for the rest of the night?

"Hey Ted, what did you do tonight?"

"Oh, not much. Went to this haunted house that's been out of business for years, but people started getting killed, so I bailed. Wanna smoke some pot?"

 
At 10:33 PM, Blogger funkysmell said...

interesting

 
At 12:49 AM, Blogger Caitlan said...

That cover letter wasn't too brilliant- I have a suggestion. Why don't you send the author a rejection letter? Yes, it would be funnier if you requested the manuscript, posted selected passages here, then let this writer know you are more interested in others' work, but that would be supremely unkind.

 
At 5:19 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Sidhedevil and Meg: So, Jessica Rabbit and slutty cheerleaders...I knew I would pay a hefty price to go to school in the Northeast. By the end of October even our slutty catwomen were wearing parkas. I was robbed.

Take this to heart youngsters: Combining sluttiness and warmth in an outfit can be very difficult. For the little girls out there, plan well in advance. Sometimes nylons aren't enough and never underestimate the value of good socks and mittens. Both can fit in your bag, and both will come in handy on the brisk, early morning, walk from wherever it was you ended up the night before. And wait till you get home to shower, it'll be much cleaner there. For the little boys out there, go to school in a warm climate, preferably at a huge state school. I'm thinging FSU or UCLA. Someplace where the October temps are still in the 80's.

 
At 6:02 AM, Blogger BWeaves said...

Ah, thank goodness I went to college in Florida.

I remember well that Halloween when the girls arrived wearing nothing but Saranwrap. It's true!

 
At 6:11 AM, Blogger but_seriously said...

Yes, kids, listen to Uncle Reg; he is right.

I went to school in a very warm climate and very near the ocean. Slutty isn't reserved for Halloween; slutty is the dress code. Halloween gets Super-slutty treatment. Ah, Bweaves, the Saran Wrap memories.

 
At 6:54 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Hey Security Weirdo:

Stop doing blow with the horses in Sydney.

Wanker.

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Reg: We had our Halloween parties INDOORS (because it was cold and therefore totally inhibited the slutty cheerleaders (I like to think I was a bit more creative than those girls). By the end of the night, so much booze had been consumed that the cold no longer mattered.

Apparently, we should have gone to school in Sydney where they drug their horses (are your women so unattractive?).

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger Security Dog said...

Wanker?

I resemble that remark.

The women here are just fine: it's just that for a small period of time, you were...beguiling.

That time has now past. Thank you for your humor.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

"Poor ol' granddad, I laughed at all his words. I thought he was a bitter man..."

INDOOR parties. Brilliant!

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger His Monkey Wife said...

Louisville's not an especially big place. I would expect the local authorities would just maybe put two and two together when employees (and even some customers!) of the haunted-house-that-will-soon-disappear-except-on-the -Internet-because-nothing-ever-disappears-off-the-Internet started going missing.

This sounds like House of Wax, but without the cache that only Paris Hilton can bring to a film of this stature.

 
At 8:42 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Security Wanker:

I give full marks for use of the term "beguiling." Would that this query writer had your grasp of the English language.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Meg: By the way, how is your new gig going? Putting away any bad guys?

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Meg said...

I put one away for 8 months on Monday, (he had a HORRIBLE history and went joyriding in his friend's grandpappy's car) (then he stole some gasoline). Got a guy on a first DUI put away for 5 months yesterday. He said he wasn't driving, but some guy whose name he didn't know (but was apparently from Canada) was driving his truck.

I hate it when drunk Canadians take my car.

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger Charli said...

In an episode of Buffy they became whoever they were dressed up that night. Buffy simply had lost any idea of who she was as did the rest of the clan. They became trapped in their costumes.

What else you got?

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

Not all Canadians take other peoples cars when they are drunk. I am Canadian and I have never driven a car when I was drunk.

There was an incident with a shopping cart, but that isn't the same as driving a car so it doesn't count.

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Meg: There is life immitating art for you. From a catchy tune in an animated feature to a line of defense in a DUI case, "Blame Canada" has run the gamut.

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Bladestorm: I am not Canadian but I did accidentally roll a golf cart while drunk. The interesting point is that I was being urged on in my stupidity by the person in the passenger seat who was, you guessed it, a drunken Canadian. Ultimately I don't think the drink or the excessive speeds had anything to do with the accident though. Obviously the golf course had designed part of the cart path to be a deathtrap. Meg could have won me millions.

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Reg, having once been in a golf cart accident which, unfortunately, involved neither drink nor Canadians, I can say that cart paths are very dangerous. Sandtraps should also be avoided when in a cart. Ponds too.
I was once accosted in a bar in London by a drunk Canadian about my choice of hockey team.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

That last part makes sense, Meg, aren't you a Predators fan?

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Meg said...

I am a proud Colorado Avalanche fan. This Canadian was upset because she was from Quebec and the Avs used to be the Quebec Nordiques and she felt that we stole everything good and great from Canada. She was very adamant about this, as evinced by her drink sloshing from her glass by her wild gesticulating.

Also, most people in the South (although I live here and love it) should not be trusted with hockey sticks.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

I don't believe that Americans steal things from Canada. You buy them.

Here is a piece of weird trivia...

Los Angeles has the fourth largest population of Canadians (only after our 3 major cities Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver). It seems that there are a lot of Canadians involved in the film industry and in the computer industry that have travelled to where the big money is.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

I have a friend who plays for the Predators. He hates the south.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

...But he likes the money.

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Meg said...

I think they shoot movies in Canada because of the relaxed attitude towards porn. Not puritanical hypocrits, those Canucks.

Reg, need to introduce me to your friend, I love hockey players. Think he likes red headed lawyers?

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Meg: I've got lots of them. There is a very strong chance you'll meet some of them in court.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

And I'm pretty sure they'd all like red headed lawyers. They'd also like red headed tollbooth attendants, blond tollbooth attendants, brunette social workers, and strippers of all races, creeds, and colors.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

Meg, have you ever thought about starting your own blog? Seriously. I'm not trying to be bitchy. Of course, then there's that whole thing about bosses getting pissed and firing blogging employees, but hey, you could always sue them!

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger jnr said...

we fight for our sannaty as we unwillingly journy through this pitch.

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Ok, Shelley. I'll start a blog. I just need to find the time to write it. Actually, I already have one, but I never post there because my time spent on the internet is in this blog. Or porn sites.

They won't fire me, I work for the state.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Sidhedevil said...

No, Meg! Stay here. Don't waste your brilliance on the silly blogosphere--stay here, with us.

One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Join me, Sid. You know you want to.

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger mrvamp said...

Your story lacks appeal but has the ability to maybe be another George Lucas bomb. He is three for three, send it to him maybe it will be a comeback for him

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger Security Dog said...

Meg: Had I known you were that most delicious of triple whammys (a buxom redhead, a lawyer and a female prone to bouts of slutiness), I'd never have whipped the old fella out and given it a digital rub.

Please accept my apologies. It can get damn lonely when you are 12,000 miles from civilisation.

And the sheep around here...they give you that look that says...you know you want to...

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger anders3000 said...

This is a rewrite of a dozen Scooby Doo cartoons and some of the live action Scooby Doo movie. It wouldn’t be much of a haunted house if it wasn’t haunted by dead people. Last I checked zombies, vampires, demons, and werewolves are all found in haunted houses. Again Scooby Doo. What’s so friggin different about that?
If the script is a tribute to all the other classic horror films than it’s not very original, hence IT”S A TRIBUTE!
As for an ending that has never been done before, hmmmm, lets see: the ghost is a twin – no, done before. The main character is a twin – nope done before. It’s all a dream – nope (an entire season of Dallas was a dream). It’s all a first person shooter video game – no. The ending is just plain stupid – nope, just read some of the other queries posted on this site.

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger crazed_writer said...

I want to film Reg's script and call it "I know who you did last summer".

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger Jerseygirl said...

I am an English teacher. It disturbs me to no end that people apparently have forgotten how to spell and use proper grammar. I can't believe this was sent to someone to be taken seriously.

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger ME said...

" I tried to give each character a different personality and characteristics."

And you want to get props for that?
That's what you're supossed to do anyway!

 
At 4:59 AM, Blogger Bobbie Mac said...

jerseygirl:

stick around...they get MUCH worse than this sometimes.

the sheer volume of incompetence will eventually beat the disruption out of you.

Meg:

Sorry, the Preds are a football team. (Unless Reg's friend plays for another team called the Predators.)

 
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