Friday, July 29, 2005

Shaun of the Dead II: Bravely Carrying On Where The Movie Ended But I Think It Should Have Kept Going And So I Wrote This Sequel

"Our hero wakes to the last day of his best friend. Suffering from the flu the other day and mixing a bottle of pills with a little too much to drink, the friend wakes up in the advance stages of rigamortis. Our guy, not wanting to kill his zombified best friend, has to deal with all the brutal killings that it has committed. He soon founds a nice project for his deaden friend. Hearing about a new horror movie that is being filmed, he does what everyone else would do if they had a their own zombie, cast it as an extra. But after his friend kills the lead actor, the cops start to smell something rotten and it now seems that the zombie friend may have to be buried twice."

Thinly veiled axe to grind much?

"Log Line: Like 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest', with a positive life-ending 'Sideways' type adventure. An Alzheimer’s patient finds his long lost first love living in the same retirement home and together they escape to Europe to seek their last slice of happiness before either of them forget who they are with.

The story begins with a young man just out of law school who had a thing for a beautiful young woman and fellow classmate. She had reluctantly rebuffed him back then and she ended up having a difficult life, while he had a successful law career and marriage. Forwarding the story 60 years, he is now in his seventies, widowed and in the early stages of memory loss. His family decides it is best for him to live in a senior home for Alzheimer’s patients and as soon as he moves into the senior living home, he discovers his former flame living in the same senior care home. Their reunion is quite emotional and endearing. Figuring now, that they both have little quality of life remaining, he plots his escape plan for the two of them to get them out of the senior home and off to Europe. Planning ahead for his own security, he had kept his American Express credit card and is now ready to use it to fund the adventure in first class only, which is new to his companion. She soon gets into the opulent adventure and the conniving antics of the two traversing through European capitals, while staying one step ahead of their families and Interpol authorities provides a thrilling comedic adventure. They meet up with and be-friend an older Frenchman who happens to be recently retired from Interpol leadership. The hilarious Frenchman, along with his lively wife, take charge of the antics and are able to guide them through Southern Europe while avoiding the Interpol police. The four of them end up having a grand time in Paris, Marseilles, casino at Monte Carlo and then Rome before splitting up with the two going on alone to Venice where his son finds them, which was part of his planned ending all along. The message ending is one that indicates that older people, don't have to die in place, just because they are deteriorating. "

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Pompousness will get you nowhere.

"I have recently completed studies at a film program where I studied filmmaking and screenwriting. After taking a year and a half to travel, shoot some short films, music videos, commercials, and work freelance for a couple of notable music publications, I have completed a screenplay that I believe to be consistent (or better) with the quality and style of the films being produced in hollywood today.

It is a twisting suburban Lynchian-thriller (not as pretentious as it sounds) that revolves around a man (title character) who sits down on his couch, only to stand up and be in the same apartment, two years later with no recollection of any lost time. The only clues as to where he was is a series of letters he sent his best friend and now engaged ex-girlfriend that are postmarked from far distant places claiming things that cannot possibly be true in any life, but the scars and the letters can't all be false. This is a film unlike those being churned out as of late. It's dark, intelligent, and demands the viewer's attention."

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

If they were Scientologists, they could just take vitamins and exercise and more auditing courses, and they probably would be just fine

"We have a young couple struggling with careers, a much-wanted pregnancy and the challenges of everyday life. The husband resorts to a clairvoyant to help him when once again he is pasted over for a promotion at work. What started with a simple consultation for him, results in the dramatic disclosure that his wife will die within 48 hours. Despite the clairvoyant's dire warning, the man embarks on a frantic pursuit to save his wife. During this time he is being exposed to dangerous situations that not only affect his wife's life but also his own life.

Each time he believes that he has saved his wife's life he goes back to see the clairvoyent only to be told that his wife is still going to die within the next few hours. So he continues his journey to save his wife's life. He believes he has saved his wife's life twice and he goes back to see the clairvoyent. This time is different because she cannot help him anymore. She also tells him that he cannot do anything else to change his wife's fate. He still doesn’t believe her and decides no matter what he will do everything he can to save his wife.

As the 48 hours deadline approaches, he gets more and more frantic and decides to come clean and tell his wife what has been going on. Much to his shock she too went to see the clairvoyent and received the very same prediction only he was the one who will die in 48 hours. Both parties have been racing around trying to protect each other without letting each other know about the imminent danger. Each one tries to maintain the facade if normal life. During this time situation goes from scary to oddly comical as each one goes to great length to save the other.

After seeing the 48 hours deadline approaching, they decide to go back to see the clairvoyent together and she tells them that there is no other option but to seek spiritual intervention and they have to convince the spirits they deserve a second chance."

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I hate to burst your bubble, but...................

"A group of Louisville, Kentucky college students are looking to have some fun to celebrate the upcoming Halloween holiday. They have already been to all the haunted attractions in the area and found them to be quit boring. They come across an old Haunted House that is no longer in business and has been shut down for many years. However, they found it on the internet and have no clue as to were the place actually is located. One of the group memebers asks a fellow college student about the haunted house. This student is into haunted and creepy things. Unfortuneately for them he does know where it is located and strikes a deal with the guy to lead them up there. Once there they meet there worst nightmares. The Haunted House is no longer empty is contains all the workers that worked there, as well as some of the customers. Each worker was turned into what they were dressed as and begin to kill off the members of the group one by one. They fight for there survival as they unwillingly journy through the house.

I feel that my story is different from other haunted house stories because I include several different characters and creatures (such as zombies, vampires, demons, and werewolves) that would be found in a haunted house. I also included a few twists in the script to keep the veiwers attention and make the story more interesting. I hate to give away the ending but it is something that I have rarely, if ever, seen done before. As all horror movies show, the hero goes back to try and save the others. My main character does not. He feels no remorse for thier deaths and believes that it is not his fault but there own because they were the ones that wanted to go. He walks to his car calmly and unafraid and drives away. Also, the script was written to sort of tribute to other classic horror films. The names of the characters are based on the actor and character that were in the movie, or based on characters in the moive.

I tried to give each character a different personality and characteristics. There is a mixture of elements too. There is plenty of action and horror. As all horror movies have, but there is also comedy, romance and suspence."

Wow, and the Dodgers still suck (but they are better than the ANAHEIM Angels - think Blue!)

"Logline: This is a period drama, about a three-generation family of rabid Dodger fans, living in Flatbush, a stone's throw from Ebbets Field, during the eight days of the 1955 World Series -- the borough's first and only championship."

Monday, July 25, 2005

I detest this person's writing style.

"Log Line: A pale Adonis from Vermont seeks the sun of California where he intends to rob a metaphorical bank known as Hollywood.

Fame and fortune's a tough safe to crack and, next thing you know, people with real guns want to get into the act. Hollywood is where we meet our main guy, a man knocking softly on show business doors when he should be trying to break them down-a soul so handsome needn't be shy. He's asleep at the wheel with his pedestrian dream of being a mere comedian, though (when enters our leading lady), all that's about to change. Our gal slaps him across the face with a serendipitous love that swerves him into the passing lane of a road that was taking him nowhere and she tells him to get off at the next exit. She knows comedy (as her father runs a low rent school where he teaches the craft), and she doesn't believe her new love should have to settle for court jester when he could be a crown prince in the movies.

Not so fast. We need to slow down for some funny twists in the story and one of these sharp curves is engineered by a highwayman who's an architect of organized crime (not a mob movie). We have your typical captain of industry who thinks there's no such thing as something he can't have and (just our luck), he'd love to have the girl-he thinks the wannabe comedian doesn't need her anyway since he's obviously sleeping with another man. Oh, really? Miscommunications multiply until they're piled so high somebody could get hurt. The only question is: Who? Not to worry, in a Grand Finale Ending, everybody gets what they deserve."

Friday, July 22, 2005

Dude, at least take out the "Forward" carets before you send me your query.

>Logline: An intense thriller about a young man accused of rape on a
>night he has no memory of and his attempt to try and survive his own
>experience of rape in jail whilst the truth is sought on the outside.
>First Act: At the beginning of the story we see our main character, a
>young man who after a night out in a night club, wakes in the morning
>with not much memory of the night before, and is confronted with the
>hangover of being accused of rape. After the court hearing goes against
>his favour he is convicted for a long stretch behind bars.
>Second Act: As there is a race for his release with the help of his
>father and his lawyer, his reception among some of the fellow inmates,
>is less than hospitable and also to his horror, far too intimate.
>However he is made an offer for protection from his roommate that he
>can't refuse. His protector knows nothing of the truth for why he is
>behind bars, which is just as well from his passionate hatred for
>rapists from previous experience with what happened to his sister.
>Third Act: Our leads two conflicts of being in jail and surviving in
>jail are both given a twist, one for the good and one for the bad.
>As at the same time it is discovered that he is innocent of his
>original charge, however at the same time his protection in jail is put
>under threat as it is revealed what he is in jail for. Thus there is a
>race for his release as he becomes extremely vulnerable towards the
>climax of the film. The resolution leaves our lead with complete shock
>as to his luck of the climax in relation to his original accuser.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Roses are red, violets are blue, this query is blah and so are you!

"LOGLINE: Cupid’s number one agent needs plenty of help to get two unique lovers back together before the time limit of their Love Arrow expires.

Cupid just happens to be a beautiful woman, and her top assistant just happens to have trouble fulfilling a special assignment. You see, when there’s a cutoff point on the love potion, things don’t always work out the way you’d like. After shooting the two as tykes, the dilemma develops when the girl’s family moves around the world. The assistant's in a race against time, and if that wasn’t enough, he also struggles with another love agenda of his own.

This is an original family Romantic Comedy, with a touch of Dramedy. During the last three months this script has been fine tuned with the aid of eight different reviewers. Comments which I have received from several professional readers include:
'This script is amazing.I really enjoyed reading your script.. it was quite fun, I laughed a lot...' 'Premise is excellent...' 'You’ve got what it takes. ORIGINALITY: Big plusses. Assistant, Boss, and Cupid are all unique characters.QUALITY OF WRITING: Good. You know how to spin a good story.' 'Concept - Like nothing I’ve ever read before.'

Would you please be so kind to reply whether you are willing to read my script?"

I'm going to add "Nude Life Model" to my resume for sure!

"LOGLINE: An Internet recluse is forced into the real world when his connection goes down.

A twenty-five year old still lives with his parents. When his precious Internet connection goes down, he's forced to travel into town where he meets an outgoing nude life model, an old friend from school. Together they embark on a journey that leads to New York and ultimately the most populated country on Earth, China, in a bid to reconnect this timid man, both to the Internet and the human race."

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Help take a BITE out of bad queries.

"This script is about a vampire that has a brother. Since childhood his brother was always jealous of him. The brother felt their mother gave the older brother more attention then she gave him. They both were in love with a human but she loved the older brother. Before their mother died she gave the older brother a hooded robe were he could go into the sunlight to see his love.

In a rage the younger brother killed the human woman and blamed it on humans. He then tried to turn his grief stricken brother against the humans and get the robe from him so he could rule all vampires. The brother learned the truth of what happened to his love and about his younger brother's plan. Then, he fell in love with another human. He tried to keep her a secret but the younger brother found out and was trying to kill her. He then tricked his younger brother into believing he was going to aid him in the war against the humans but turned on his brother killing him to save the woman he loves and for the human race. He became leader over the vampires."

Um, my script is about Hillary Clinton, but don't tell anyone.

"The story of a couple and their struggles with their new jobs--- she, the first female President of the United States and he, America's First Man.

The orchestra plays Claire de Lune and the President escorts the First Lady, his beautiful wife of ten years to the dance floor. All heads turn to admire the couple. The two have a bond that clearly illustrates they are husband and wife. Their affection for each other is not only recognized in the close knit community of Washington DC, it goes beyond the borders of the Beltway and is apparent to the entire world.

Little does he realize that 12 years later he would find himself returning to the White House, as the husband of the first female President. In turn making him the nation's first, First Man. It's not all Senate luncheons, tea parties, baseball, and beautiful women, however. Political backstabbing, Constitional amendments, unexpected allies, and assassins plague his wife's administration. Through it all, he struggles to remain by her side."

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I can see it now... let's cast the Crocodile Hunter: "Yeah! She's a real beaut! I'm lying real quiet so she won't--ooh! She's gettin' aggressive!"

"LOGLINE: As an adventurer attempts to smuggle a Komodo dragon to a Mexican sport-game farm, the beast breaks free in NYC and devours bystanders. In struggling to reclaim the dragon, the adventurer comes up against a cop who'd kill to keep the incident covered up.

SYNOPSIS: An adventurer in his twenties will go anywhere for a rush. And since he's getting low on cash, it doesn't hurt that he'll make a bundle for smuggling a Komodo dragon to a Mexican sport-game farm, where the international rich will pay handsomely to watch it devour its prey. He recruits two buddies who are also looking for kicks and a big payoff. One of the friends convinces an apartment super on the Upper East Side to let them use his storage space overnight. The three plan to leave early before anyone sees the dragon. That becomes impossible when the dragon gets loose and starts eating people.

A tough NYC cop tries to keep a lid on the carnage while keeping the story hushed-up. Though he promises the trio safe conduct out of town after they successfully tranquilize the dragon, he secretly enlists a former CIA hit man to help him ambush the boys and the dragon. He doesn't know, however, that the adventurer is also an expert marksman. The CIA man and the two friends all die in the bloody shootout.

The lieutenant plunges his APC into the Hudson River. The adventurer saves him from drowning in exchange for being kept out of the police report. Meanwhile, the dragon slips out of the truck during the shooting and slides into the Hudson. Lance sees the dragon surfacing on a vacant pier, and he deftly blocks the lieutenant's view of the animal. As the lieutenant exits to return to his office and face his own problems, our man vows to continue his pursuit of the beast."

What Lies Beneath the Piano Top

"LOGLINE: An acclaimed L.A. keyboardist marries a beautiful virtuoso jazz singer who falls ill with breast cancer. Just when it seems he has lost his struggle to keep her with him, he discovers she never left him after all.

SYNOPSIS: Though a female jazz singer and a male keyboardist come from opposite coasts, both know they belong together. Throughout the eighties and nineties, the two make sizzling music together, along with pals like Stevie Wonder, Billy Sheehan, Donna Summer, Paula Abdul, Chick Corea, Ritchie Cole, Manhattan Transfer, A Taste of Honey, and many more.
And then tragedy strikes. She falls ill with a virulent form of breast cancer. She battles the disease with every spiritual weapon at her disposal. Never far from her side, her husband John seeks out a wide range of alternative and conventional treatments that take the couple as far as Mexico and Germany. But in the year 2000, she succumbs. Though celebrity friends come together for a glittering tribute concert in her honor, it's the lowest point of her husband's life. He feels utterly alone... until she reaches through space and time to make her presence felt. Over time, she guides her husband through his own spiritual awakening."

Monday, July 18, 2005

Good thing CONSTANTINE comes out on DVD this week.

"LOGLINE: A woman must enter a dark and twisted version of her city in order to rescue her daughter from a trio of ruthless ghosts.

A woman and her daughter have a rare ability to find doors to the netherworld, a kind of purgatory that's like a dark and barren version of the city. This talent makes them valuable in the netherworld. After some ghostly slave traffickers kidnap the daughter, the mother must brave the dangers of the Necropolis to rescue her daughter. Her one advantage in this is that the kind of people who prefer to remain in Hell's halfway house rather than move on to whatever comes next are the kind of people who sell each other out when they can gain the slightest advantage."

Friday, July 15, 2005

No pictures, please. I believe they will steal my soul.

"This is a "Hitchcockian" tale of voyeurism and obsession, exploring the erosion of privacy and the vagaries of the art world.

A photographer finds fame when he inadvertently records his wife's tragic suicide leap. He is acclaimed for taking surreptitious, often provocative, photographs of people in their apartments from a high purview, becomes obsessed with a woman who bears a striking resemblance to his dead wife. He slowly becomes aware that he too is being photographed, leading him into a complex web of mystery and murder."

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Hello copyright violation!

Logline: Ripley joins a new group of marines to stop an alien infestation that has been growing unnoticed for 3 years on Earth.
Synopsis: Two years after the USM Auriga incident, Aliens reach Earth's Red-Zone - a now forsaken and uninhabitable portion of the planet above and below the 40th parallels - and nest for three years until they attack points of interest belonging to the United Systems.
Ripley, who is now working for a government research lab, is sent with a group of Marines to investigate the cause of Miner disappearances. Not knowing whether the events are related to numerous rogue activities, the unit is tasked to gather intelligence and tag one of the creatures with a tracer.
The group is forced to take refuge in an alien infested mining complex after their vehicle is damaged by the creatures during recon. Ripley slowly becomes attached to the young soldiers as the group tries to make their way out of the complex. Their escape is successful while the government plans to bunker-bust all the nests from orbit.
Military action against the creatures turns sour and Ripley's new friends are sent on an ill-fated mission to save a government executive on Earth. Ripley braves a security lockdown on one of the Orbital Space Stations to save her friends on Earth while the USM military surface bombs the entire Red-Zone in an attempt to rid the planet of all alien infestation."

It's déjà vu all over again--sort of

"Logline: While on the run in Europe, a mysterious CIA agent suspected of selling top secret information to the Chinese is forced to adopt various disguises to stay one step ahead of people who would prefer him dead. As events unfold, he learns he’s the product of a sinister mind control program called MK-Ultra. When he takes a beautiful French photographer as hostage, life becomes even more complicated."

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I nominate Jenna Jamison

"How would you like to choose the 2008 Presidential candidate?

Genre: Reality TV Series

100 of our best citizens selected by life resumes, will be interviewed by a panel of American role models, politicians and celebrities. Topics range from Politics, religion, family, economic/environmental conditions, technology and more. Meet the friends, family and co-workers of the top 10 candidates and hit the campaign trail as they compete each week on different philanthropic/charitable tasks.

Winner - Presidential Candidate 2008."

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

What is with the Random Capitalization?

"Log Line: The past finally catches up with Three Guys living the High Life down in Key West, Florida.

Synopsis: This Action - Comedy of Three Modern-Day Pirates takes you on a roller coaster ride from Connecticut down to the Florida Keys. The weather is beautiful, the water is calm, and these so called 'Pirates' live on the edge, taking advantage of unsuspecting Yachters. Two FBI Agents, who resemble the comedic duo of 'Lethal Weapon', link the Pirating Villains to previous Bank Robberies."

Monday, July 11, 2005

Nebbish Man has come to save the day!

An un-heroic nebbish has superpowers he uses solely for cheating at the casinos. But when a demented televangelist holds his gambling buddies hostage, it's up to him to be the hero.

Our man has superpowers, but he's no hero. He's an insecure guy who happens to have sporadic invulnerability, x-ray vision, super hearing and super speed... but he's barely strong enough to open a jar of pickles. What's more, his superpowers can fail him at any time, and he's hopelessly vulnerable to the sound of High C Major -- as in any Mariah Carey big ending.
With all the constraints on his superpowers, he regards himself as a freak of nature. He makes his living by cheating at gambling, and he steers clear of the traditional superhero vocation of saving people. But that doesn't mean he wants to hurt anybody. So when a demented televangelist kidnaps his two best friends and tries to pressure him to cause a deadly disruption in a Vegas casino, he is forced into unfamiliar territory. Somehow he must figure out how to harness his balky powers to become a genuine hero."

Friday, July 08, 2005

As long as Gary the Duck is somehow involved, I'll be happy.

"This script is about 3 teenage (16, 15, and 14) girls who struggle to save an abused NYC carriage horse, a former show champion, and help him regain his former glory. Along the way, they have to overcome the horse’s own injuries, a hansom cab driver’s drinking problems, and a hit man for the former owner who has already collected insurance money. It is a story with heart that has the appeal of SEABISCUIT, RACING STRIPES, and other Disney-type stories featuring humans and animals overcoming adversity."

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I bet I can guess what the "strange plant" is... puff puff give, bro!

* 70 years before Columbus, Chinese scientists arrived in South America with knowledge so powerful that their emperor would kill to keep it hidden.
* The elemental difference between lead and pure gold is only three atoms.
* Despite building a civilization on their wealth, the source of the Inca gold has never been found.

We have a botanist working in Alaska. Her career is flourishing, her life seems settled. But tragedy strikes and she flees to New York to her only living relative, to safety.
But she is far from safe.
After her grandfather's suspicious death, she is forced to flee again, and this time, she's being chased.
Who are the Ophites and what is their hold on her secretive husband? What is this strange plant her grandfather has left her? And how could it possibly be linked to the Inca's gold?
To answer these questions, she must face her demons and return to Alaska. Armed with an ancient text with its missing final chapter, the trail takes her from the frozen north to her ancestral homeland in Germany, and then on to Peru. Can she separate fact from fiction in time to uncover the truth? If she can't, she will be the next to die."

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

French chicks are hot. Oui oui, s'il vous plaît!

"Armed with top secret information and accused of defecting to the Chinese, a mysterious CIA agent assumes a series of false identities while on the run in Europe. When a beautiful French photographer becomes involved with him, she unwittingly helps him unravel the enigma of his true self while he tries to stay one step ahead of people who would prefer him dead."

Friday, July 01, 2005

I knew those Commies were to blame for the '04 election!

"In the 1950's, a KGB spymaster establishes a school that would Americanize young agents. His main goal is world domination through political infiltration.

Genre: Espionage

A KGB spymaster founded a school that would educate Soviet children on various foreign cultures. His intention was to train these young spies and send them out into the world. They would become politicians/lawmakers whom he could control in secret. His grand-nephew eventually becomes the President of the United States."