Friday, June 24, 2005

And by 'church' I really mean Church of Scientology and that crazy crazy Tom Cruise.

"A veteran detective is on the trail of what he believes to be a vigilante when he learns a large 'church' congregation may be responsible for a series of gruesome revenge killings."

66 Comments:

At 12:07 PM, Blogger BWeaves said...

The Passion of the Cruise.

Left behind -- The Revenge.

Veggie Tales -- When Eggplant Goes Bad.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

BWeaves - We all know that food never dies...it just goes bad.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger scribe called steff said...

You know, it's a plausible script.

There's some bad shit out there in the religious world. Take the Hari Krishna murders of the early '80s or Jonestown or Waco.

Nope, I've nothing witty to say on this one.

thelastditch.blogspot.com

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger sharpie said...

food never dies...it just goes bad.

They shoud make another "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and use that line.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Wasn't this an episode of X-files? So completely unoriginal it warrants no further comment.

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger isolde said...

Enter Cotton Mather.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Meg said...

What kind of revenge are the vigilante / vegetable / Tom Cruise people after that they feel they must commit gruesome killings? How gruesome? Are we talking the kind of gruesome where a body rots in the woods until someone's dog brings the head back to its owner as a present? Because that is cool.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger RogerRmjet said...

Katie Holmes needs to start looking over her shoulder.

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

By "church" congregation, does the "writer" mean one of those strip mall churches with the copy paper signs that have names like Heavenly Joy Kingdom of Christ's Vital Fluids, or Delirious Followers of the Golden Urine Cake? Because most of the time, the pastors of those churches are on parole for murder anyway.

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger kojled said...

wow, that's bad. you could replace large church congregation with almost anything and it would be a better logline

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Bobbie Mac said...

Perhaps the writer meant a "large church" congregation.

Y'know...a cult that only admits obsese people.

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Please note the ads for swords and daggers for google. Weird.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger classymac said...

This was so an episode of X-Files. Had tons of snakes and Mulder and Scully still didn't do the nasty.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

Sister Act of Vengeance.

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger kojled said...

bobbie mac

you've proven my point. to wit: A veteran detective is on the trail of what he believes to be a vigilante when he learns a gang of obese people may be responsible for a series of gruesome revenge killings. -- tell me that's not better

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

Why is there a Google ad for Crohn's and Colitis? Are these diseases caused by eating bad eggplant or by watching Tom Cruise interviews?

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Bobbie Mac said...

kojled

It also answers Meg's 'how gruesome?" question, because some of those victims are going to be flattened.

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger Josephine Verna said...

'Church' is being used as a euphemism for 'alien'.

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger dogfrog said...

God is a euphemism for Ming the Merciless

 
At 7:39 AM, Blogger Andrew Undershaft said...

Here in England, "a large church congregation" is almost a contradiction in terms.

Next time I will have a dig at the actual query, I promise.

Andrew

 
At 1:07 AM, Blogger djddjd said...

There's a bit of 'Murder on the Orient Express' about this. Detective looking for one killer finds that they've all had a stab. Maybe it would be more fun if the motivation for the killings was petty differences in religious doctrine... Oh, wait a moment that'd be a film about Northern Ireland... I really can't stand Liam Neeson (who'd have to be in it) so let's just forget about it now.

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger cinekat said...

I prefer the following animated version: "A vegetarian detective is on the trail of what he believes to be a VeggieTales director when he learns a large chili congregation may be responsible for a series of gruesome radicchio killings."
Helpful tip: I find that showing VeggieTales to my European friends demonstrates US national & foreign policy under the current administration admirably - also saves time on lengthy debates on last election results.

 
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At 9:49 AM, Blogger Mary said...

I happened to be surfing through and saw this; the script belonging to the logline you've been trashing was sold several months ago and commanded mid-six figures on a draw of another mid-six. I guess the writer's the one laughing.

 

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