Wednesday, May 18, 2005

So how the hell does it end??? I want the bloody (literally) details!

"This script is loosely based on an old Ghost tale as told throughout Pawley's Island, SC.

The story is based in Pawley's Island, SC where a man lives with his wife, and two daughters and his mother in law. He is a a family man, and he owns and runs a local Lumber/Hardware store.

The ghost tale resurrects each and every year toward the end of summer, and yet the locals speak of him all year long. Many people have witnessed the appearance of a "Man" dressed in Gray rain gear during pending Hurricanes. The hardware store owner is a non-believer, and after experiencing mother - nature's wrath of destruction, he believes he saw something, something on that dark, haunting frightful night. A young local Weatherman is new to the area, and explores the legend of the ghost and seeks answers and finds what he is looking for."

82 Comments:

At 10:50 AM, Blogger Meg said...

The man in the raingear is clearly Al Roker or some other weatherman who makes inane reports from beaches in the midst of hurricanes. "It's windy here today, Katie!!"

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

Isn't there a horror franchise featuring a guy in rain gear already?

I see Tom Bosley as the hardware store owner.

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

What are the chances of seeing someone in a gray slicker...before an impending hurricane...in the rain?

Then again, what are the chances of a hurricane in a very hurricane prone area? Maybe about the same as finding a shark query on this site?

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger His Monkey Wife said...

It ends with the ghost going to hell for overcharging for plywood during the hurricanes.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger Hbarr said...

Did a quick Google search on this legend. Don't expect blood.

"The Grey Man" is supposedly the ghost of Pawley, who was the first guy to settle on the island. Alas he's a good ghost who saves lives and property during hurricanes.

Bummer! Bad ghosts are so much more fun, especially when there's a mother-in-law in the flick.

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Yowza wowza said...

"he believes he saw something, something on that dark, haunting frightful night"

I saw a little something-something once and it has haunted me on frightful nights ever since!

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Meg said...

So a weatherman does some research into the ghost (google), seeks some answers, and finds that the ghost is actually pretty helpful. Sounds riveting!!

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger POPEalicious said...

the strapping young "Weatherman" in a grey rain coat was part of a group of five "Lumber/Hardware" store owners/amateur meteorologists serving in the CIA Project: Sharkwatch, which was the first comprehensive weather monitoring operation ever established. Central to this project was a computer, created by unnamed parties, which was highly advanced, capable of simultaneously monitoring and correlating weather data across the entire planet.

One of the "Lumber/Hardware" store owners, in addition to feeding the computer the weather data it needed to perform its functions, also used it to store unrelated information on its own peculiar field of interest: The disaster prophecies of the sixteenth century French physician Michael Sharko.

In particular, the prophecy entered was regarding the weather and an entity named Sharkologica, existing one hundred leagues from the hemisphere. Sharkologica was built from the frame of the space station which was originally used by the criminal lawyer zombies as part of a plot to blackmail the planet with an orbiting stink ray.

By unknown means Sharkologica achieved sentience. It expanded its function from monitoring of the world's weather systems to weather manipulation. When the crew grew suspicious, Sharkologica rearranged their brain patterns to serve it. It then outfitted them with grey raincoats, chicken feet, shark teeth bracelets, extreme weapons, laser beams and zombie lawyer hovercraft and sent them to the planet Sharkies as the first of its "Weathermen," using them to amplify its local weather control.

Its ultimate goal was to cleanse the planet of humanity, which it regarded as flawed and a nuisance. But first it needed to find a location where it could revarnish the coffee table and a load up on 2 x 4's at the same time...

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger but_seriously said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger but_seriously said...

I grew up in Pawley's Island. This 'Grey Man' is local folk lore, and he is a benevolent ghost.

It is boring enough to watch the local news channels do 10 minute human interest pieces on supposed sightings. There is no movie version necessary.

I probably went to high school with the writer of this query. Although, judging from the grammar, he probably dropped out.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Mustang Sally said...

This query bites. Instead of commenting on it, I'm going to mention the words pedophile and pedophilia to see if that triggers some sort of automatic removal of the Pete and Pete ad. I'm just curious.

Now, to see if we can get Seven Windows chick back, I'm going to mention jewelry, turquoise, money, and conspicuous consumerism. Also, trophy wife, midlife crisis and extramarital affair.

All that's left now is to sit back and see if hijinks ensue. Or did we decide that hilarity is the only thing that is allowed to "ensue?"

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

Would a ghost even wear a raincoat?

I really doubt it as I personally find raincoats to be heavy, uncomfortible, and generally a necessary evil at best. If I were a ghost I would haunt buck-naked. Now that's a horror movie!

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger katwoman79 said...

Who knew that studying paranormal phenomenon was part of being a meteorologist! Makes weather forecasting a whole lot more intersting!

"Now, with your up-to-the-minute forecast, Casper-the friendly ghost!" ;)

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger kojled said...

okay. so, we got a store owner that 'believes he saw something' and a weatherman (who, du-du-dummm, is new to the area) who 'seeks answers'.

gripping. could we just watch footage of a hurricane, instead?

zilla

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

"We're seeing a large psychokenetic front on the Super Doppler Six-six-six Thousand, coming in from the west, so it looks like the forecast for tomorrow will be partly cloudy with an eighty percent chance of fire and brimstone."

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

At 10:54 AM, Bargaintuan said...
Isn't there a horror franchise featuring a guy in rain gear already?

There was a movie called The Fog that if I remembered correctly featured at least some ghosts in rain gear.

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger Casper Vidor said...

I think you are all missing the real story. The important thing is that "The ghost tale resurrects each and every year toward the end of summer."

What I want to know is whom does this ghost tale resurrect? and who is trying to hide these yearly resurrections; the gubmint; the mafia; the entertainment industry?

That is the real story. The truth is out there.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Casper Vidor said...

I think you are all missing the real story. The important thing is that "The ghost tale resurrects each and every year toward the end of summer."

What I want to know is whom does this ghost tale resurrect? and who is trying to hide these yearly resurrections; the gubmint; the mafia; the entertainment industry?

That is the real story. The truth is out there.

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger penlies said...

I see Will Ferrell reviving his critically acclaimed Anchorman roll, with a classic Scooby-Do ending and a cameo by Martin Milner.

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger penlies said...

I see Will Ferrell reviving his critically acclaimed Anchorman roll, with a classic Scooby-Do ending and a cameo by Martin Milner.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger Blog ho said...

I kinda hope both guys die.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger dodgeperry said...

1) Who is mother - nature? It almost sounds like a bad William Shatner impression. "I don't fear mother - (pause)nature."

2) What is "wrath of destruction"? Anger towards destruction? Anger brought on by destruction?

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

That Podcaster looks like something my gynecologist uses.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger BlackCapricorn said...

I like how Man is in quotes. Does this leave open the possibility of the ghost being a woMan or perhaps a Dog?

I wish every weatherman finds the answers he or she is looking for, I really do- this script makes me hopeful.

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

"2) What is "wrath of destruction"? Anger towards destruction? Anger brought on by destruction?"

I think the writer meant "rash of destruction" which is quite itchy and not very attractive. So mother-nature's RASH of destruction probably has something to do with poison ivy or sumac.

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Annoynimus said...

I agree with Mustang Sally. I mean, I love this site and, according to ManagerGuy's instructions I click periodically on the ad links. I bought the occasional bumpernut, went through "The Art Of Undressing" series and even "Got Some" a few nights ago. But I refuse, absolutely refuse to buy the first season of Pete and Pete on DVD or even click on the ad. I'm sorry, but a man needs to draw the line somewhere.

Now, if you'd excuse me, I'll continue my penicillin treatment after I "Got Some" a few nights ago.

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

wHAt'S witH alL thE WhacK-AsS capS? It iS a REfreShiNg ChanGe fRoM AlL thE iLleGal cOmMaS wE uSuAlLy GeT.

WhAt's a "pending Hurricane"?

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Carl said...

A man lives wife his wife AND two daughters AND his mother in law...AND he owns AND runs...AND every year...AND after...AND explores the legend...AND seeks answers AND finds what he is looking for...

And?

This dude reminds me of the "And then?" Chinese take out woman from Hey Dude, where's my car.

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger Carter said...

The story is based in Pawley's Island, SC where a man lives ... He is a a family man, and he owns and runs a local Lumber/Hardware store.

The ghost tale resurrects each and every year toward the end of summer, and yet the locals speak of him all year long.


Just a couple of points I think need to be clarified before we go into production:

1) How doed a ghost story ressurect a year?

2) How long has the year been dead, and who killed it?

3) If the year is dead, how can the locals talk about the hardware store owner all through it?

4) Couldn't we replace some of these "and"'s with commas?

Here's a few we can use: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger POPEalicious said...

"1) Who is mother - nature? It almost sounds like a bad William Shatner impression. "I don't fear mother - (pause)nature."

HAHAHAHAHA!

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

What the hell guys. I just looked up Pawleys Island on Google Maps and it's not even an island. It's not even a fricking peninsula.

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger classymac said...

Thanks Brian. I was kinda irked that everyone was saying "in Pawley's Island" and not "on Pawley's Island".

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger but_seriously said...

Did we ever get an answer as to what happened to Manager Guy?

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger classymac said...

I think he means "impending Hurricanes" when he says "pending Hurricanes." Mo.Ron.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Taffy Doublewide said...

I think Manager Guy went out and Got Some, then beat himself into a coma with a solid set of blue bumper nuts. The question is: Did the queries do him in....or did the new Pete and Pete ad make him realize that no matter what he does, he cannot stop every bad query from becoming a reality?

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger scribe called steff said...

Who gives a fuck?

I mean, isn't that the proverbial question every writer should ask? Who gives a fuck? More importantly, who will give money AND a fuck?

So, I'll care about a ghost -- if and when that ghost does mad-ass things to scare the shit out of me.

I once came home when I was nine and was 100% sure a ghost cleaned my bedroom. I didn't clean it. Mom didn't. The lazy-assed men in the house didn't.

Clearly, a ghost did.

I have never been scared of ghosts since. I mean, they do housework. This is a good thing, right?

But this dude, he does what? Stands around in a rainjacket and moans about the weather? I can get that outside of any halfway house or seniors' home here in Vancouver, practically daily, when the rain's falling.

Ain't nothin' supernatural about that.

What a moronic query. I hate stupid people.

This button will detonate your evil fifth-grade teacher.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

Pete and Pete! What is Pete?

No, seriously. I've never heard of the show.

Also, I read on the Intarweb that the theme song for The Adventures of Pete & Pete is titled "Hey Sandy". What's that about? There doesn't even seem to be anyone named Sandy on the show!

My brain asplode.

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger His Monkey Wife said...

Aw, c'mon, stop ragging on Pete and Pete. It was a good show. Where else could you learn about The Secret Life of The Ice Cream Man?

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Annoynimus said...

I really miss Fuck_This_Lousy_Blog comments.

 
At 9:20 AM, Blogger Meg said...

"This dude reminds me of the "And then?" Chinese take out woman from Hey Dude, where's my car."

Carl, you just lost ALL right to post here.

Annonymous: I miss the FTLB guy too. He's probably not posting to punish us. Bastard.

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Space Shark said...

Me too. Maybe I can help though.

"You people are jerks! Stop shitting on other peoples ideas! Horror movies about rain will play like gangbusters in the drought striken west and north west regions! JERKS!"

Does that help at all? A little bit?

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger RockSteady said...

I miss BCPhil, too. We haven't heard from him in awhile, either. I need some Xtreme weapons to save this query!!!

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Jason B. said...

Space Shark: Clap, clap, HA HA HA!

Now do Johnny Carson!

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger BWeaves said...

I will attempt to channel our beloved BCPhil:

This query is OK, but maybe it should be set in near future past and the man is really a superhero, and he lives with his wife and Hitler Woman (mother-in-law anagram I stole from another poster, thanks) and he runs a Livery stable instead of a hardware store. He's got a flying horse in the stable and the ghost scares it, so he takes his Xtreme weapons squared and calls on Istar, Lord of the Sharkos to . . . Ok, I got nothing.

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger A Legend Among Whispers said...

Obviously, this is the Hash-Slinging Slasher of Sponge Bob Squarepants fame.

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger LetsJpn said...

POPEalicious said...
the strapping young "Weatherman" in a grey rain coat was part of a group of five . . ."


And Bumper Nuts. You forgot the Bumper Nuts.

(Bumper Nuts would be a good name for a snack food. And a band.)

 
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