Thursday, April 21, 2005

Pick your favorite phrase in this terrible query.

"I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking a look at my screenplay, 'The Emerald Necklace'. Indiana Jones meets “Cast Away” in this adventure story where a young man's life changes when he travels to South America and ends up the lone survivor in his group.


Cameron Hensley, a former high school band member and recent graduate, hooks up with a Spanish club going to South America. He gets more than he bargained for when the group's van strays into dangerous territory and is destroyed.


All are presumed dead, but Cameron survives. Just when he finds the road home, he’s taken prisoner. There he befriends another captive -- an old village man. Cameron uses a saxophone and his wits to escape, then must choose whether to get to safety or help the old villager."

47 Comments:

At 10:53 AM, Blogger SRH said...

Cameron uses a saxophone and his wits to escape

priceless

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger StephTexas1976 said...

I love that the reader has to know that he was a member of the high school band. Without that tidbit this whole query wouldn't have made sense.

Man - where would Cameron (oh how I miss Kirk) be without that darn saxophone?

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Annoynimus said...

Score another one for the sax.

My runner-up: "Indiana Jones meest 'Cast Away'": "Why'd it have to be snakes, Wilson, Why?"

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Carl said...

If you change the name to 'The Pearl Necklace'; devote most of the script to the hot South American "old village man" on "high school band" geek action that occurs while they're prisoners; and get Colin Farrell to play the saxophone nerd, I think you may have yourself a movie.

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger RockSteady said...

The absolute best: "Cameron uses a saxophone and his wits to escape..." I MUST see that play out.

"All are presumed dead, but Cameron survives."
So... you're telling me that they might not be dead? There's a surprise happy ending/tearful reunion here, I know it!

I'll bite: Where does the emerald necklace come in?

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Cheapo said...

When Cameron was in Egypt land, let my Cameron go...

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger stacysom said...

'a saxophone and his wits' HAS to be the favorite.
Though I'd like to add to my boycott of 'the only problem is' the phrase 'he gets more than he bargained for' -- because we're get less than a bargain, that's for sure.

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger Carl said...

"Just when he finds the road home, he’s taken prisoner."

How the hell did he find THE road home??? Is there like one huge gigantic road that runs from South America, through Central America and Mexico and into the United States???? If so, how the fuck hard can in be to find it?

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

"South America"....let's not trouble the reader by being too specific. All those countries look alike, anyway.

"...group's van strays..." just exactly HOW does a van "stray"? Is it the same way you "hook up" with a Spanish club...

"Just when he finds the road home..." "Sure, Sax-toting Gringo, just take that dirt trail until you reach the third chicken shack on your right. Veer left and you'll be in Norte America before you know it."

"...or help the old villager." Emphasis on OLD. Unless he's got the "Emerald Necklace" hidden in a body cavity and you've got a strong stomach, run like the wind, Cameron, run like the wind.

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Windy City Wendy said...

"a former high school band member and recent graduate"

Just how do you graduate band?

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

I can't wait for the fanale; Ten to fifteen minutes of the band geek beating an entire village to death with his Sax, then, still drenched in the blood of his former captors, playing a soulful ballad in rememberance of his lost youth. The final scene; The band geek reunites with his presumed-dead-but-not-really-dead companions and bangs the crap out of the spanish club babes in the back of the van.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger brainhell said...

It's not badly written, and it seems like a slightly interesting concept. You just need a young Tom Hanks in the part, is all.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger GobiasInc said...

"There he befriends another captive -- an old village man."

Because we all know that old people from the city are never friendly.

"must choose whether to get to safety or help the old villager."

Humm. .tough choice. Do I run for safety, or help an old man that will die soon return to his life of squatting in a grass hut and herding llamas?

I'm pretty sure I know which one the author picks, but wouldn't it be nice if Cameron just took his saxophone and left

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

My favorite line: "I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking a look at my screenplay..."

Could you be more passive? Why not follow it up with "...but it's OK if you don't. I mean, I really don't want to bug you but if you could read it that would be really, really swell. Maybe not this weekend, but next...But if you have plans I understand. I mean you have to have a life outside of work and I really respect that. You know, it's really OK if you don't read it. I just thought you might want to because I put in a lot of time but no pressure. Thanks for your time."

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger Bet said...

HEY! I've used a clarinet and my wits to fend off many a foe!

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Space Shark said...

Those dang saxophone players! They're always getting all the hot old village men

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

"All are presumed dead, but Cameron survives."

Who did the presuming and who cared enough to try to find out what happened to them? The members of the Spanish Club that weren't there? "Oh, their van strayed into dangerous territory and didn't come out...They must be dead. Oh well"

You always get more than you bargained for in dangerous territory.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger LC Sulla said...

One time...at band camp... I used my saxephone and my wits...and I put it in my ****

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Meg said...

"the van strays into dangerous territory and is destroyed." By WHAT???

Who the hell would kidnap an old village man? Who would ransom him? His goat?

How did the van stray? Did it find a younger cuter van in a bar and hook up after a few tequilas...

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger buster said...

Its a huge stretch to call this Indiana Jones meets Cast Away...I mean, this is some HS band geek not a whip-toting, pistol-packing, famed archeologist. Also its not even close to Cast Away, he is taken prisoner & befriends an old man; not exactly a cast away, eh?

Why is Cameron the only captured prisoner besides this old man? 2 prisoners! Is this band of kidnappers just starting out? & whats with the "all are presumed dead..." line, didn't the band geek check if they were dead or not? & i'm sure glad the band of kidnappers let Cameron keep his trusty saxophone. Is it a magic sax? does it call on the jungle animals to assist in the jailbreak?

it stinks.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger agoodsamaritan said...

This one has "loser Brazilian scriptwriter" written all over it.

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger James Kotecki said...

It's pretty clear that Cameron went through one of those "Land of the Lost"-style portals to an ancient world. That explains how he found THE road home, and how the saxaphone helps him survive: the natives think it's some kind of magical demon stick.

 
At 12:03 AM, Blogger afterart said...

make cameron an angry saxophone playing black chick from the ghetto and the old village man a shaman who introduces her to the local ritual hallucinogen and helps her find those wits while she's teaching the parrotz to really squawk...

it never gets weird enough

 
At 1:52 AM, Blogger Kell said...

So how exactly does he use hte sax to aid his escape? Does he bludgeon the guards with it or something? And are his wits SO sharp that he's able to use them to stab his captors? I realy must remember to carry a musical instrument in situations where I may be held prisoner...

 
At 2:04 AM, Blogger cinekat said...

just be grateful he plays sax and not piccolo

 
At 5:47 AM, Blogger Bladestorm said...

cinekat said...
just be grateful he plays sax and not piccolo

...or the kazoo

 
At 6:08 AM, Blogger Meg said...

The kazoo actually makes for a better movie.

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger cinekat said...

Or bass... Remember that scene where James Bond & chick sledded down the Alps from Soviet territory into Austria in a chello case? (BTW, in geographical reality: not even a hill there.)Maybe he could paddle down the Amazon escaping piranhas in a tuba?

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger berimbau-player said...

An emerald necklace. I kept thinking of pearl necklaces.

and then I saw Carl's post.

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Sidhedevil said...

I used to play the saxophone professionally (no lie), and the only thing I ever did with the combination of that and my wits was scam free drinks from old men.

Apparently, Cameron must have some secret. Either that, or he played "Feelings" with a lot of vibrato and then ran away when the bad guys' heads exploded.

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger AxmxZ said...

OK, it was vaguely stomachable until the saxophone bit. How does one play sax and use their wits at the same time, I wonder?

 
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