Monday, March 21, 2005

Wayyyy better than THE SHINING -- NOT!!

"This horror/suspense would be popular (and not cost much to make). Great acting roles and the last 25 minutes rivals that of THE SHINING - as for as horror goes. This is the story about a normal college kid who is haunted by the ghost of a student who was murdered ten years earlier by his history professor, the very same history professor that the student now has.

A man warns both our hero and his girlfriend of the professors' secret agenda. He tells them that they are the only ones who can save the kidnapped victims presently chained up at the professors' home. Yet, is our boy believing the right person? The informant may not be the innocent ghost he claims. However, the student and his girlfriend step up and break into the professors' house. It is there where they experience the scariest horror house ever imagined, thanks largely to an ax murderer in a ski mask (the lady is recognized after he removes her mask). When the professor finally arrives home, the two students get to go face to face with a serial killer one who is responsible for three decades worth of murders.

Still, the professor is just one third of the killing team. The man reappears but he really isn't who he appears to be nor is he a ghost. The students were chosen as the next victims, stalked and tricked to end up in the solitude of this terrifying home. The man got to play the role as ghost thanks to his creepy aura and the student being unknowingly punctured with a hypodermic needle containing a hallucinating drug right before class (by the lady), thus creating the crazy illusions.

Sooner or later, the Professor and his secret horror house would eventually be found out by the authorities, which leads the man to stab the professor and cut his ties, claiming it was just a matter of time till the Professor was caught.

Now acting as the flies caught in the killer's web, the couple are facing death, but luckily, another student (our guy's nemesis from school), escapes from a treasure chest, clubbing the man therefore saving his foe, and it is our boy who gets to put an end to the last part of the serial killer team."

65 Comments:

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

I wish I had a creepy aura so that I could play the role as ghost.

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

Also, someone should treat that poor drug. It's hallucinating.

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Reg Dunlop said...

If we make the third member of the serial killing squad a deranged monkey instead of a woman I think we're sitting on a gold mine.

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger gamblin fool said...

And he would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those nosey kids.

Zoinks!!!.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Annoynimus said...

This guy outBCPhiled BCPhil!

And that's not an easy task.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger shaunoftheliving said...

"...which leads the man to stab the professor and cut his ties..."

Where were all the ties?
Hanging from a tie rack?
Did the man use scissors to cut them or another instrument?

It's important to be specific, otherwise the reader may become confused.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger sharpie said...

The guy uses the door. Is not translucent. And drives a car. But hey, he says he is a ghost so he must be a ghost.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger Meg said...

What. The. Fuck.

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Our hero has a nemesis from school too? Shit, this kid cannot catch a break.

What the hell is a creepy aura? I am guessing you get that when you are injected with drugs which are hallucinating.

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger but_seriously said...

Calling the pronoun/modifier police!

Some names may have helped this query. Or not.

 
At 4:00 PM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

I just love when "writers" who cannot use proper punctuation tell me that a movie will cost.

Do you have any idea how much ski masks, axes, treasure chests, stabby things, and clubs cost nowadays??!!??!

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

Lemme guess, Scooby Doo episode #4928?

Note to writer: Less=More

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Frazier said...

This movie will encounter cost over-runs due to the army of editors needed to make the script intelligible.

 
At 5:50 PM, Blogger Zoinks said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger Zoinks said...

How could you not notice being stabbed by a hypodermic needle?!?!

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger GobiasInc said...

"This is the story about a normal college kid who is haunted by the ghost of a student who was murdered ten years earlier by his history professor, the very same history professor that the student now has."

Wait. I'm confused. the student who was murdered ten years earlier by his history professor, and is haunting the college kid, still has the very same history professor?

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger anders3000 said...

I think the query is hallucinating. Which is pretty horrible as "for" as horror goes.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger anders3000 said...

Could it be that the story is set in the late 1930’s? The nemesis would be . . a time traveler. . .that is sent . . . . back to kill Professor Hitler. Thus making the treasure chest a time machine? Now if the Professor is one third of the killing team (Go Team!) and the second is a woman would that make the third Gilligan or Skipper? And to BCPHIL the thing why not give the killers more extreme weapons like six-shooter blow dart guns or triple edged mach 3 razors? Instead of chaining the people to the wall to trap and terrorize them why not sew them up into alien costumes? I seem to recall that there was no way to get out of those.

 
At 12:17 AM, Blogger LL Cool P said...

BCPhil, wherever you are, if I weren't married already I'd propose to you. You're one of the last funny commenters left on this blog.

To the BC-haters, you might want to look up the definitions for "parody" and "satire" before you bag on our boy again. For the last time, HE IS NOT SERIOUS -- and even if he were, how is that ruining your fun?

Jesus H. Christ.

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger Bargaintuan said...

I like how there are no names in the synopsis at all. Maybe this guy saw how Moonshine and Gumbo were ridiculed and decided it would be a good idea to leave Wibble and Horsepucky out of his query.

Still, "our boy" gets funnier with each occurance.

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger kp said...

I'm with Meg!

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Yowza wowza said...

If this author thinks this is a good story, they have been injecting hallucinogenic drugs.

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger Dan said...

It sounds like a really horrible ripoff of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I guess the "making it cheap" means you wouldn't have to make it at all since it sucks so badly. Jeez, who has time to sit around and come up with this shite!

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger jnr said...

unknowingly punctured. don't you just hate it when that happens?

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger Shaenon said...

Although this pitch is of course terrible, I have to give the writer points for explaining his big twist ending. I'm fascinated by the number of pitches that go, "Yes, this movie sounds like a string of boring cliches, but that's before the secret twist ending that will BLOW YOUR MIND...and which I can't tell you. It's a secret."

An evil serial-killer professor? I'm guessing film student here.

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger LC Sulla said...

As a History teacher, i'm offended. My team of serial-killer accomplices is completely loyal and would never cut my cute noveltiy ties. (smiley faces, crossword grids, bugs bunny...)

Plus, i'm entirely too busy sending Jewish students back in time to kill Hitler to engage in all of this subtrefuge.

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger A Legend Among Whispers said...

Let me guess the first sentence: "It was a dark and stormy night."

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Just_A_Rat said...

How can you guys be dumping on this? It has the scariest house ever imagined!

On another note, for those of you who find BCPhil's work enjoyable, it is worth clicking on his name, and checking out his blog, which has a link to this one.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Brian said...

My head is spinning. I'm sure he used periods in that query, but man that felt like one gigantic runon sentence.

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger MaryAnnTheRest said...

This just proves to me that you can't trust innocent ghosts, even if they seem, you know, innocent.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger BJ said...

Wait, let me get this straight...who are the bad guys in this? Wonder who'll pop up next? I'm also a professor, and I could keep everything straight in this story. Perhaps one of the most convoluted story lines I've ever read.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger BJ said...

Wait, let me get this straight...who are the bad guys in this? Wonder who'll pop up next? I'm also a professor, and I could keep everything straight in this story. Perhaps one of the most convoluted story lines I've ever read.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger BJ said...

Wait, let me get this straight...who are the bad guys in this? Wonder who'll pop up next? I'm also a professor, and I could keep everything straight in this story. Perhaps one of the most convoluted story lines I've ever read.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger MeatyOcr said...

First time here - and man am I glad I found it!

This shit is just plain hysterical! We used to just sit around our office and make fun of the query letters that arrived, but now I get to share in other people's misery.

Thank you Empress and Manager Guy!

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger Ned said...

Oh, wonderful - another example of my pet peeve Deus Ex Machina (or whatever the fuck) --- Drugs! Hallucinatory drugs! Just mix in a little drug use and you have an automatic pass that allows ANYTHING to plausibly occur on screen. A grittier, edgier, lamer version of the "dream sequence."

Aspiring writers: Go take LSD and see if you can come up with anything remotely interesting to say about the experience or any possible way to convey to an audience what it actually entails.

Yeah, you can't. Closest thing going (that anyone has heard of) I can think of offhand is Gilliam's "Fear & Loathing" and even that resorts to quite a bit of cartoon style gags, but at least it succeeds in conveying some sense of psychedelic "weirdness" in the process.

Now, delete your tacked on "drug sequence" from your movie, and please come up with a way to advance your plot that involves a clever story, not "Uh oh! Somebody took some drugs, everything is fuckin nuts! Wacky!"

 
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But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a lcd tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger.

Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on the lcdtv in the back of my Hummer.

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

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Strange day or what? :-)

 
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