I want sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
"There is a shark planet formed by water only, in another galaxy! Its ruler king, together with his evil sharkies, which have now been upgraded, but still have red eyes and chicken feet, send a starship to earth, to kidnap a boy and his friends, bringing them to Sharkos, to sit trial before all evil sharkies! But, the king is betrayed by his own cousin, who in fact, is Space Shark! Will the boy and his friends be able to persuade the king that he can become a major rock star on earth, with his band THE SHARKS? How will the kids ever return home? Will Space Shark help them?"
posted by The Empress @ 10:42 AM
145 comments
145 Comments:
Baby, baby...stop...you had me at shark planet.
I always wondered what happened to my nephew's 3rd grade fiction piece on fish...of course he had the wherewithall to call the fish sharks not "sharkies". I feel alright calling the person who created this "idea" an ass for just writing this down and spending the 37 cents to mail it. Save a tree and stop while your ahead. Of course, in a jam, paper works as a handy toilet paper replacement. Although, I don't think that I will have to be in a jam to whipe this script with my ass...if i took the time to print it out..which I'm not going to in case you were worried ;).
No fucking way! This must be "Spot the Fake Query Day" or "Spot the Query Written by a Ten Year Old Child Day." And in that case I win. I win an aneurysm.
Oh my god, this can't be real.
Smart move on the king's part to keep the red eyes and chicken feet when he upgrades the evil sharkies.
Must be a joke. Even having read every query on this site, I cannot believe anyone would seriously propose a "story" this ridiculous.
Every sentence felt like it should have ended with "OMG".
Fake, bogus and not very funny.
Among other reasons it's a fake:
"Its" is used correctly.
I hope this is real.
I like the idea of some guy or girl sitting at thier comptuer looking at a board of 3x5 cards of scenes and thinking, "Hum I'm having third act problems. Maybe if I have Space shark be the kings cousin and then start a subplot about a rock band. Eureka!"
Kind of restores my hope in mankind.
And can the sharks feed off people who use commas like that? Even if this is a fake query, I suspect the punctuation is all too real.
people are always trying to find the negative in things... this is do-able! It should be done in 3-D and the dvd will come with those green and red glasses so while the rock star shark laser show grand finale goes you, you feel like you're right there moshing with sharkies... IT COULD BE A MUSICAL!! my gawd... someone pass the asprin...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
I always suspected that sharks, if left to thier own devices, would one day discover intergalactic space travel.
But I never knew they were such big fans of rock and roll.
"Will Space Shark help them?"
I don't know, but I'm dying to find out!
O.K., can someone please explain how the sharks have a freakin' spaceship, if their entire planet is made out of water??? Is the spaceship a giant bubble.
Also...The whole thing seems like a ripoff of Sharko from Sealab.
Here's a better fake query :
Bubba is a 22 pound, lobster that led a simple monastic, life, until a strange dicombobulating, event threw him into momentary stardom and death where he was realized by Hitler with a side of butter sauce.
TITLE: Space Side Story
The Sharkies vs. the Jetsies
Carl, your quibble is with the spaceship? If I was questioning the "science" of THE SHARKS, my brain would explode somewhere along the lines of how would a planet of pure water have any gravitational pull, support life, have creatures with bodies adapted for walking? But then, it is in another galaxy!
I know this is being rather short-sighted but if the planet is made entirely of water, does it still have a magma core? Or is it more just like a floating orb of water, and the sharks are able to swim through the center?
Okay. I think I've got it. This is just a fucked up, cracked out version of the "Sponge Bob Square Pants" movie, right? David Hasselhof could be one of the Sharkies in disguies..it'd explain so much!
ANDERS3000, read about that monster lobster on cnn.com. He was most certainly an alien from another galaxy. I bet his lobster spirit when back home where he is currently opening a chain of grocery stores ;).
Omigod! I wondered what had happened to SPACE SHARK!!!
"Its ruler king, together with his evil sharkies, which have now been upgraded, but still have red eyes and chicken feet, send a starship to earth, to kidnap a boy and his friends, bringing them to Sharkos, to sit trial before all evil sharkies!"
Holy Fucking Hell! Someone has a fetish.
This has got to be the worst sentence ever constructed by the human mind.
Something smells "fishy" to me!
I don't think Simon Cowell would allow the Sharks to have a record contract.
I actually think this could work. If you played it dead straight, with the most realistic computer-generated sharks with chicken feet technologically possible, I think it would be one of the funniest movies of the year.
Starring Kevin Costner as King Sharkie.
I'm inspired. I particularly like the idea of making a serious dramatisation out of it but not computer-animated. Shakesperean-trained actors all wearing costumes that are a strange cross between a foam shark and the San Diego chicken. Make the movie and the roles very serious but the humour more subtle. Name the planet Caesar. Thanks for this one. It will keep me going all night!
Anders3000 - I really think that giant lobsters should be their arch enemies chasing them through space. (I need a steer from you on leg preference and eye color) Suddenly their warring world mysteriously splits into two planets and simultaneously a wormhole back in time opens up to 1939. Should the sharks try to eradicate their arch enemies the lobsters or go after Hitler? As long as the King Lobster's real name is Greg Woozer I don't care.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This would only work if the sharkies turn out to be made of soy, like the clowns.
To all the skeptics:
This logline is real. It was posted for months in one of those "Logline Listing Sites" (a service where a writer pays to post his logline in hope that a producer would browse through it, find this nugget of inspiration and contact the author to read and buy the screenplay).
This particular author didn't stop here. He posted about a dozen of similar loglines. Most of them were proposals for animated, family oriented features and TV series, but some of them were for live-action features aimed to mature audiences. All of them (I mean ALL of them) involved sharks.
"Sharkies"?
And when does the big rumble with the Jets come in, anyway?
I think Space Shark is Batman. I've never seen them together.
Maybe this movie could be like The Smurfs, and the sharks could all be named after their jobs, and could use "shark" as every other word.
Is this the one that was going to be called "Jawsies"?
I don't know, but I shark that would be a really shark title!
I'm pretty sure this was a Gamera movie. The evil aliens (played by pretty Japanese girls dubbed with Southern accents) were going to eat the kids' brains, too. Sharkies would try that too, definitely.
um I think they made this one...it's called Spring Break: shark attack.
I blinked at the planet made entirely of water. I boggled at the sharks that "kept" the red eyes(?) and chicken feet(!) after "upgrading." But I lost it at "Sharkies."
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
look. Ya got sharks. Ya got a king. Ya got robot sharks. Ya got outer space. And ya got rock and roll.
Are you kidding me? Kids are gonna LOVE this.
I mean, have you SEEN "Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!"? Do you even need to with a name like that?
Of course, the real story is in the sequel. If the planet's entirely covered in water, where did they get the chicken's feet? Some sort of super aquatic laser-guided chicken / fish hybrid, I imagine. I can smell the Oscar, people.
I wonder what people said when the read the query for "Howard the Duck". Now that I think of it this might be a good movie.
My movie idea, "Cute Puppies vs. Megalodon", doesn't seem half-bad by comparison.
Of course there are no chicken feet in my movie -- not [i]yet[/i], anyway.
Can I just say "What the fuck"
"Shark shark shark "shark" shark shark shark shark shark, shark shark shark! Shark shark shark, shark shark shark shark
"sharkies," shark shark shark shark shark, shark shark shark "red eyes and chicken feet," shark shark shark shark shark, shark shark shark shark shark shark shark, shark shark shark "Sharkos," shark shark shark shark shark shark "sharkies!"
People, people, please... who are we to criticize space sharkies with chicken feet? This writer is obviously the quintessential post modern artiste: a genius, a visionary before his time. True art is not meant for us to understand. It is meant for us to feel and experience and learn. When the author of this work and the space sharkies are studied in the year 2365 by Nazi university professors in New Berlin City, truly, won't we be the fools?
Three words: Saturday Morning TV.
It's genius. It's a damn shark saga for the kiddies. It's the freakin' Lord of the Rings with sharks and water and chicken feet, but better because it's got a rock and roll subplot. Hell yeah!
I'm seeing this as "Deep Blue Sea" meets "Team America." The sharks (all portrayed by puppets) turn out to be genetic mutations manufactured by terrorists as part of a scheme to blow the world into two pieces: water-only Planet Sharkos, and Planet Ground, which is everything else. In the end, the terrorist mastermind (ruler king, if you will) turns out to be--get this--Adolf Hitler, who has traveled forward in time via chest hair in a fermenting trash can. The boy and his friends have to stop this plot with only their wits and a shrimp that grants wishes on their side.
Great potential for combining a number of posts here.
Ooh! And the shark king has to trade places with his twin sister the prostitute to psychically experience serial killings!
GENIUS!
"Waterworld" meets "Battlefield earth". What more needs to be said?
I can just see the posters now. They could have a picture of Space Shark in front of THE SHARK PLANET FORMED BY WATER ONLY, with the caption, "THE SHARKIES HAVE BEEN UPGRADED". Oh, what a dream!
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