Behold! I am back with this gem!
"I am contacting you regarding potential representation of my screenplay 'The Fartiste.' Logline: The true story of Joseph Pujol, the most popular performer in 1890s Paris: can a man with a musical ass hope to be taken seriously as an artist?
On several occasions, Johnny Depp has expressed an interest in playing Pujol (see Playboy Interview) -- but I believe that this tragicomic role would appeal to several big-name actors."