Tuesday, February 22, 2005

But does this image appear in a tortilla?

"A woman realizes that a little statue can cure any ailment. But after healing many people, she discovers that when the statue heals you, someone -- somewhere in the world -- gets your disease."

55 Comments:

At 10:25 AM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

And the problem with this would be what exactly?

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger Ben said...

when the statue heals you, someone -- somewhere in the world -- gets your disease.And that someone is Paris Hilton (as herself).

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger Shelley123 said...

...and that little statue is OSCAR, baby!!! Start practicing your speech.

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Pseudonym said...

Anyone ever see the Twilight Zone episode where the main character was given a box with a button on it and told that if he pushed the button, he would get a million dollars and someone he didn't know would die. After agonizing over it for a while, the guy pushes the button, gets the million and is told that the box is going to be given to someone that he doesn't know?

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger Annoynimus said...

Finally, a sensible way to explain where I got gonorrhea.

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger stacysom said...

But the movie ends when the WHO organizes all the people in the world to quickly pass the statue from person to person, healing everyone but one poor sacrificial schmuck who gets all the diseases ... any candidates?

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Sylko said...

I totally remember that Twilight Zone. It was one of the new ones in the 1980's. I thought of that immediately when I read this. This can't be as good. You can't stretch the premise out to 90 minutes.

 
At 2:01 PM, Blogger Windy City Wendy said...

Annoynimus, are you sure it's not seagull herpes?

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger rachel said...

I once played in an RPG where my character was under a spell and never had to take a shit. We found out later, her shit was actually being teleported out of her body to an undisclosed location. Somewhere a pile of shit was growing larger every day.

This movie made me think of that.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Lhyzz said...

Totally ripped off from an X-Files episode.

 
At 6:46 PM, Blogger Dwight Brown said...

"We found out later, her shit was actually being teleported out of her body to an undisclosed location. Somewhere a pile of shit was growing larger every day."

And now that you've read this query, you know where that pile of shit ended up.

(Thank you. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress. Try the veal.)

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger Sluglinus said...

"...she discovers that when the statue heals you, someone -- somewhere in the world -- gets your disease."

Could you choose the recipient of the ail-mail? Because I'd totally ship my scabies off to one of those rich prisses on that "Super Sweet 16" show on MTV.

That reminds me -- I'm about to pitch Fox a new reality show in which all of the annoying contestants from past reality shows file into one huge line and smile as I take brass knuckles to their faces.

Anyone who "breaks character" is sent down Loser's Lane, which ends at a giant blender used to puree the eliminated contestants. At the end of the season the goop in the blender can be used to gag those on "Fear Factor," or maybe get donated to Salvation Army or some other charity.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger corndog said...

The meta-sequel will be "The Resurresction of Malkovich," in which every time Charlie Kaufman writes a great page, some other scriptwriter's synopsis goes completely to shit.

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger franklymrshankly said...

Paging Rod Serling .....

 
At 7:24 AM, Blogger c.e.shinola said...

So - this is a globe-hopping comedy?

"Catch me if you can" meets "28 Days"?

I dunno. Yeah, I think I'm not sure.

Remind me, how do you make horrible disease funny again?

Oh, it's not a comedy? Huh, so, it just kind of sucks... Or is it uplifting in the end? Remind me how you make random, horrible disease uplifting again?

 
At 5:13 AM, Blogger 'Bitchen' Ric said...

Gwendemarco:

It was exactly the plot of an episode of the 80's TV series "Friday the 13th" except it was a glove and not a statue.

It can't hold up 100 mins worth of movie. It's 22 mins of plot at best.

 
At 5:40 AM, Blogger streetsoffire said...

I would totally go see this movie. Is it really coming out?

 
At 6:52 AM, Blogger GRANDIZER666 said...

I'm not old enough to have seen most of this shit that you people said was on in the eighties, so I would probably check this out too.

Probably be better than Boogeyman or white noise which both sucked ass.

 
At 8:38 AM, Blogger Scoot said...

Well, when I read this one, I thought of the Stephen King (as Bachman) book "Thinner"....you could transfer your ills to someone else. In the book, I believe it was via a pie of some kind....

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger Ron said...

This plot sucked back when F. Paul Wilson used an almost identical version of it in one of his novels.

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger girlintheheather said...

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but isn’t it about Americans:
You can buy a pair of sox for a buck at Walmart, but if you do someone -- somewhere in the world will work 12 hour shifts for dirt wages.
If they made this movie right, it might drive home the following point: people care about themselves and sometimes their friends and family and everybody else is, well everyone else.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Me said...

she discovers that when the statue heals you, someone -- somewhere in the world -- gets your disease

So this is why people I know are always sick! Damn healing statue!!!!

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Stan said...

I get it! It's "Pay It Forward" meets "Outbreak." Pure genius! LOL

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger sharpie said...

Of all the billions of people in the world how do you know someone else got your disease. Does it call you with a forwarding address?

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger nunzio said...

A woman realizes that a little statue can cure the Cialis-induced 4+ hour party-favor. But after healing many men, she discovers that when the statue heals you, someone -- somewhere in the world - gets a 24-hr party in their pants at the most embarrasing and inoportune time imaginable(i.e., meeting the girlfriend's family for the first time, during job interview, while giving eulogy).

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Dan Masucci said...

This premise has already been put to the screen in the television series Friday the 13th. A faith healing reverend would heal someone with his enchanted glove but would then have to find someone to touch and pass on the illness to. Someone wrote that the premise ripped off The X-Files but not so. Long before The X-Files was this awesome supernatural series that The X-Files ripped off a number of times.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger MyOwnOpinion said...

How exactly would one discover that others were getting the disease? I mean ... even rare diseases crop up ALL the time SOMEWHERE in the world. And for common diseases how exactly would one stumble upon the cause and effect?

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger rubikshex said...

I work for a prod. Co. read this script. It was actually pretty damn good, but I didn't recommend it (I had just recommended something else that I now wish I hadn't).

A nurse's son finds the statue and she starts stashing it in her patient's pillows at night. She wraps it in bubble wrap so they don't feel it.

The statue exchanges the sickness with someone who is similar to the person who has it. She figures it out when she heals her son who has a twin sister.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Mac said...

All those people who have been arguing that it was ripped off from a Twilight Zone/X-Files/ Friday the 13th episode are almost 100 years too late.

The plot is very similar to one of O'Henry's stories - who died back in 1910.

 
At 6:16 AM, Blogger Matobormx2 said...

I don’t know, Star Wars was pretty good (Flash Gordon/ Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress). So was Full Metal Jacket (Apocalypse Now, Platoon, Hamburger Hill). How about the Shining, that was pretty good, but The Amityville Horror came out first (man in haunted house goes crazy). And if you’ve every episode of the Outer Limits, Dark Shadows, The Twilight Zone, The X-Files, Friday The 13th, Tales From The Dark Side, Tales From The Crypt, and Amazing Stories and you’re still on the look out for something new -- something you’ve never seen the likes of before -- you’re very silly -- very silly indeed. Or maybe YOU have an original idea?

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger leyva1313 said...

i'd love to say something cool but it is more easy to steal from Matobormx2...
I don’t know, Star Wars was pretty good (Flash Gordon/ Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress). So was Full Metal Jacket (Apocalypse Now, Platoon, Hamburger Hill). How about the Shining, that was pretty good, but The Amityville Horror came out first (man in haunted house goes crazy). And if you’ve every episode of the Outer Limits, Dark Shadows, The Twilight Zone, The X-Files, Friday The 13th, Tales From The Dark Side, Tales From The Crypt, and Amazing Stories and you’re still on the look out for something new -- something you’ve never seen the likes of before -- you’re very silly -- very silly indeed. Or maybe YOU have an original idea?

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger ebrown2112 said...

Is this ripped off from "Unbreakable" or "Carnivale?"

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger A Legend Among Whispers said...

rubikshex,

You wrote,

"The statue exchanges the sickness with someone who is similar to the person who has it. She figures it out when she heals her son who has a twin sister."

Umm, wouldn't that make it her daughter???

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger rubikshex said...

healter skelter,
You wrote:
"The statue exchanges the sickness with someone who is similar to the person who has it. She figures it out when she heals her son who has a twin sister."
Umm, wouldn't that make it her daughter??”

Yeah, its her daughter. I didn’t mean to imply this was something she suddenly discovers. She has two kids, they’re twins. When she cures one, suddenly the other one gets sick.

 
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Thought you would like this. big bucks

 
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Google plans instant-messaging system, report says



Google Inc. is set to introduce its own instant messaging system, the Los Angeles Times reported on Tuesday, marking the expansion by the Web search leader into text and also voice communications.

Citing unnamed sources "familiar with the service," the Los Angeles Times said that Google's Instant Messaging program would be called Google Talk and could be launched as early as Wednesday.

Google Talk goes beyond text-based instant messaging using a computer keyboard to let users hold voice conversations with other computer users, the newspaper quoted a source as saying.

A Google spokeswoman declined to comment on the company's product plans.

If confirmed, the combined computer text and voice-calling service would put Google in competition with a similar service pioneered by Skype, which has attracted tens of millions of users, especially in Europe, to its own service.

Separately, independent journalist Om Malik on his blog at http://gigaom.com/ pointed to technical clues that suggest Google is preparing to run an instant messaging service based on an open-source system known as Jabber.

Jabber technology would allow Google instant message users to connect with established IM systems that also work with Jabber, including America Online's ICQ and Apple Computer Inc.'s iChat, Malik said.

"This is the worst possible news for someone like Skype, because now they will be up against not two but three giants who want to offer a pale-version of Skype," he wrote.

Earlier this week, Google said it was branching out beyond pure search to help users manage e-mail, instant messages, news headlines and music. It introduced a new service called the Google Sidebar, a stand-alone software program that sits on a user's desktop and provides "live" information updates.

Over the past year or so, the company has expanded into e-mail, online maps, personalized news and more.

The product push comes as rivals Yahoo Inc., Microsoft Corp. and Time Warner Inc.'s AOL are all pushing to upgrade existing instant messaging systems and expand into new Internet phone-calling services.

Google's moves take it beyond its roots in Web search and closer to becoming a broad-based Internet media company.

With instant messaging, Google would be breaking into a market in which its major competitors boast tens of millions of subscribers to their established instant messaging services.

America Online, with its AIM and ICQ brands, counts more than 40 million IM users in the United States alone. Yahoo has around 20 million and Microsoft's MSN Messenger numbers some 14 million users, according to recent comScore Media Metrix data.

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