Tuesday, February 15, 2005

And Hijinks Ensue!

"BUSINESS AS USUAL is a feature-length comedy in which an immature and self-centered medical billing executive audits a problem client's account. When a hilarious office injury lands her under that client's medical care, the young executive uses hospital hi-jinks and some help from her conscience personified in order to expose the doctor's corruption."

131 Comments:

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Sluglinus said...

"When a hilarious office injury lands her under that client's medical care..."

What kind of office injury falls under the "hilarious" category? Singeing one's pubis hairs whilst mass photocopying a Nether Region memo?

Nah. That's a merely comical office injury.

"...the young executive uses hospital hi-jinks and some help from her conscience personified in order to expose the doctor's corruption."

I think I'm gonna have to use some memory hi-jinks to permanently remove this query from my brain (*reaches for bong*).

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger c.e.shinola said...

Does it have to be "feature-length?" How about just having be a couple seconds long, and then call it a day?

Or how about this?:
"BUSINESS AS USUAL is a feature-length comedy in which an immature and self-centered medical billing executive decides to write a screen-play that she's sure will be a big, big hit. She'll be vague about what happens in it, because she doesn't know herself, and she'll take a pass on that grammar stuff too, and then when no one wants to make it she wont understand why. Oh, and then hospital hi-jinks will ensue."

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger gwendemarco said...

125 pages of HMO fun. Please tell me there is at least one scene with a hospital gown that opens inappropriately in the back.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Seagull Herpes said...

I hope there are lots of scenes of him filling out paperwork, maybe with some papercuts to ratchet up thetension and a dramatic scene where the young executive discovers he has carpal tunnel syndrome.
That would rock.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Kira said...

Because we need more movies about medical billing.

And is anyone else terrified by these two words: "conscience personified"? Meaning, what, Jiminy Cricket? A hilarious talking hand-puppet? I'm picturing an unleashed Robin Williams, and cowering where I sit.

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger Neb said...

I have a hard time with these people who declare that we will surely find bits of their work "hilarious". How about letting us decide after we've read them, hm? I also cringe when I see "hijinks" not used in a self-deprecating or intentionally campy manner. Gak.

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger gillobiafra said...

"And is anyone else terrified by these two words: "conscience personified"? Meaning, what, Jiminy Cricket? "

I think this is probably something like the concept in Herman's Head, where the viewer was treated to the personification of Herman's inner struggles (you know: fat bloke=greed; hippy woman=kindliness or summat). That, too, featured situations of the 'hilarious' variety.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger Dwight Brown said...

You know how people always tell aspiring writers, "Write what you know."?

This is not what they mean.

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger E. said...

Mock all you want people, but these medical billing "dramadies" are an untapped genre. I see sitcom. Five bucks says the WB picks this up and makes it their medical billing version of a "Scrubs".

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger E. said...

Mock all you want people, but these medical billing "dramadies" are an untapped genre. I see sitcom. Five bucks says the WB picks this up and makes it their medical billing version of a "Scrubs".

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger Me said...

Could the "hilarious office injury" be someone throwing their monitor over a cube wall? That's what I'd like to do after reading this!! FUN TIMES!!!

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger Stan said...

I just hope there's a scene with everybody's hospital favorite, Jello. Major opportunity for product placement and the comedic possiblities are endless. Um...yeah, not really.

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger bicoastalguy said...

Okay, so we'll cast Dick Scrushy (of HealthSouth fame) as the immature and self-centered medical billing executive. Considering the reception this picture would get, doing the part would probably count as his community service. Now, for the client, how about Bernie Ebbers? The conscience personified - we should pitch Paris Hilton. And the corrupt doctor - Dick Frist! Got every base covered.

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger jford69 said...

I think this film would be a bit hit if it were shot from within the young billing executives' anus. The film opens with the "hilarious office injury" -- ie a large explosion occurs when the flatulent exec's prankster colleagues attempt to ignite his flatus with a match! The exec then falls under the care of the evil proctologist who is skimming off the top and hiding his loot in the the rectal vaults of his unsuspecting patients!

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger Max Kelada said...

What does a "self-centered medical billing executive" write on her lunch break -- for $500, Alex?

 
At 4:21 AM, Blogger Hunter said...

one time at my work, this secretary fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. i laughed my ass off.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger anders3000 said...

immature,self-centered people, corruption and hi-jinx. are we sure we're not talking politics instead of a hospital.

 
At 6:50 AM, Blogger Ministry of Information said...

My 'conscience personified' tells me that hilarious hi-jinks go straight to the 'free if you'll take it away' box at Fred's Video Store in Deluth.

Tell you what. I'll go find an old BetaMax, fill it full of dog crap and mail it to you. That should accomplish about the same thing as this script.

 
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