Monday, January 03, 2005

Epic, schmepic

"Take the heroism of Braveheart, the betrayal of Gladiator, and the passion of Cleopatra and combine it with the story of one woman who strikes fear into the heart of the Roman Empire.

Her ambition to conquer, her determination to avenge her husband the king, and her hatred toward the most powerful empire on the face of the earth leads her into a vicious war. What if she falls in love with the enemy? Would she give up everything for her love? Would it change the future of the two empires?"

Now take the box office results of Troy, the bad reviews for Alexander, and the disaster that will be the Crusades' movie and please leave the movie business forever.

9 Comments:

At 9:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Show of hands people...who HASN'T read a Boudicca script lately?

 
At 9:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This film shall be called "Shitty Aeneid."

 
At 10:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troy's worldwide gross:

$497,378,256

Maybe it's time to hyperlink to boxofficemojo so you can hurl clever bitchiness with accuracy.

 
At 7:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How dumb do you have to be to ask "what if" questions for a historical piece?

"What if she falls in love with the enemy?" She uses him to become queen.

"Would she give up everything for her love?" No.

"Would it change the future of the two empires?" No.

Don't miss the unexpected twist at the end when she takes an asp and... --WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD--

She dies!!!!

 
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