Friday, January 14, 2005

Behind The Hairpiece

"I would like to present to you my revised version of my script, "The Donald."

THE DONALD
(revised)

"The Donald" is a revised version of the writer's original version. It recounts the true story of the the writer's experience with the Trump Organization over a screenplay the author had written titled "Antony and Cleopatra, Donald and Marla," in which the writer draws an analogy between a contemporary pair of glitzy celebrities and the two fabled lovers of antiquity. The writer thought the analogy was intriguing. In ancient Rome, Antony, one of the three Triumvirates of the Ancient World, had fallen under the spell of the power of the immortal Cleopatra. In modern contemporary America, a glitzy real estate magnate had fallen under the spell of a seductive vamp.

After a reader at Walt Disney Studios asked to see a copy of the script, the author contacted the Trump Organization about the concept. Initially, attorneys there with whom the writer talked thought it would be a "good idea," and that Donald Trump would be "intrigued." Then, after reading the script, the author received a letter from the Trump Organization threatening a lawsuit should he continue to market his script to the film industry.

"The Donald," recounts this series of events in a comical and humourous way and also provides a chronology of Trump's rise (and fall) in the celebrity world. "The Donald" sweeps across two continents---America and Southern Europe---as Trump's henchmen chase the protagonist on through Italy, Greece and Egypt and ends in a grand finale in Egypt as the writer and Trump confront each other over their diverse lifestyles."

23 Comments:

At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

TRUMP
Marla, get your asp in here, NOW!

 
At 10:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Egypt is in "Southern Europe"? Has anyone told the Egyptians?

"Then, after reading the script, the author received a letter from the Trump Organization threatening a lawsuit should he continue to market his script to the film industry."

You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"writer and Trump confront each other over their diverse lifestyles"

Now that's what I call high drama.

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger XLT said...

Boy, I hope they fight like Kirk and Spock did in that Vulcan arena in that one 'Trek' episode. That would be righteous!
(Bup-bup-bup-buhh-buh-buh-bup-buuhhhhhh...)

 
At 12:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I work at a publishing co. and I think we got submitted the unrevised version of this query awhile ago. It was called "Donald Trump Ain't No Great Masturbator".

 
At 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Antony, one of the three Triumvirates"...doesn't this make him one of nine people?

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no, i think it makes him three people.

 
At 8:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I'm just piling on here, but since when is "Southern Europe" a whole continent?

 
At 3:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The commenter thinks that the writer talking about him/herself in the third person is really creepy.

 
At 5:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This may be the first time in history when the reader's coverage ends up with: "SUE THIS GUY'S ASS!"

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger Fringe said...

So whiny writer can't get his script about the Donald made, so he decides to... write another script about the Donald! One that tell the story of his sad, lonely rejection (and in the process probably sells the main point of his first work). I think that this script should be rejected, so the writer can write a script about how, after submitting a script about a submitted script which was rejected about the Donald, his query letter was posted to a web site that made fun of him, chasing him across two continents and finally ending up in the continent of Southern Asia.

 
At 3:00 AM, Blogger the artist said...

"a revised version of the writer's original version"

Thanks for making that clear. It might be even better if it was an original version of the writer's original version, but the artist knows that would've led to a lawsuit.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Sami said...

uuuuh, this is utterly confusing a bewildering. I'm lost! I'm wandering in a maze of nonsensical, rambling, vague language! Please, someone, come and get me out!

 
At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So it's "comical AND humourous [sic]?" Wow, it must be twice as funnie [double sic]!

 
At 3:19 AM, Blogger IsidoreofSevilla said...

I think the writer is referring here to the bodily humours, e.g., Zest, a piquant,energizing and fragrant substance secreted by the bladder; Lux,a rich, smooth emollient produced by the ear canal.


I'm seeing a great, strident finale in the Valley of Kings. "Stargate" meets "Ricki Lake."

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger eejit said...

Donald Trump is so a Great Masturbator

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger ebrown2112 said...

I'm sorry, I fell asleep during the first paragraph...

 
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