Thursday, December 16, 2004

I'd pay 11 bucks for that.

"TITLE: IGOR CHUMKIN'S TEMPLE OF LOVE

GENRE: ROMANTIC COMEDY

I would like to submit the details of my latest screenplay for your consideration.

LOGLINE: A lonely young Russian farmer agrees to let an unscrupulous archeologist unearth a priceless relic from his land in exchange for a chance at love with the man's assistant."

19 Comments:

At 9:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or, I'd pay 12 bucks for a chance at love with the man's assistant.

But not a cent more.

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger xz said...

hell. he could make that film himself with twelve bucks.

wait. unscrupulous archeologist?

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont know why, but there is a terribly annoying lilt to this query. maybe it is all the descriptive words, but just for that i would throw it in the trash.

 
At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if I had a nickel for everytime THAT happened to me when I was an assistant.

 
At 8:38 PM, Blogger Louise said...

sounds so serious, what with all that archeology and love and relics and all....

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Louise said...

...and the temple of love! i swear, there's a TEMPLE is RUSSIA????

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Max Schadenfreude said...

Will someone PLEASE clear this up?

Is the assistant's name pronounced "ee-gore" or "eye-gore"?

And why is the farmer in love with him?

 
At 11:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's "eye-gore"...
there wolf...there castle.

 
At 1:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good: with all the Russian prostitutes marrying for "love at first mail" and moving to an economically lovelier country, there must be thousands of lonely farmers left back in Russia.

Bad: I'm assuming the "unscrupulous archeologist" turns into a pimp? And the assistant - who might just be American - is supposed to go along with it?

Worse: she might fall in love with farmer (putting rom into com) and conspire against pimp, bringing relic back.

The worst: Possibly underlying political statements.

Qs: Where's the temple?
Why does the title sound as if this was porn?
Where's a hint of funny?

 
At 7:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put aside all critizism of the weak, contrived plot and admit this; Igor Chumkin's Temple of Love is the laugh out loud title of the century! While it is admitedly the only funny thing about this proposal, I chuckle to myself just thinking about the title. I can't wait for the sequel, Igor Chumkin's Wardrobe Malfunction.

-SMIKAL

 
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