Monday, December 06, 2004

He, completely worthless writer.

"IMMACULATE DECEPTION

POTENT! ENGROSSING! SUSPENSEFUL!

She, a young French girl marries He - English teacher, and moves from small French village to Windsor, Ontario. She - full of superstitions and fanatically religious and He - atheist, into mastery and control. With two small children and her 7 months pregnant, they make a horrific trip 1000 miles back to their previous homes in New Brunswick.

Dehumanized and debased She makes plans for His destruction knowing God is leading Her every step. Terrified of His temper, and bloated body taut, She drives away leaving Him at a service station 300 miles from home. What is His revenge? What about the baby? His punishment is devious and unrelenting. She gives birth to her third child knowing her death plan for Him is unique and his twisted love will be ended. A Time to Heal is close.

The French/English, Catholic/Protestant dilemma is dominant throughout this intricate Canadian story. In order to Heal, she meticulously plans his destruction, and by law she GETS AWAY WITH IT, however, the ending is a shocking gut grabber, an appropriate ending for this lurid tale. A Time To Heal is an alternate title."

26 Comments:

At 9:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm, yeah...just what world audiences are clamoring for...an intricate Canadian story aboot...aboot...

 
At 11:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me - not optioning this piece of shit idea.

 
At 2:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Canada is full of intricate stories, such as the one about Canadians using kilometres instead of miles.

 
At 5:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another reason I won't be moving up to Canada.

 
At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Story of O: Ontario"

 
At 8:39 AM, Blogger Annie said...

Eagerly anticipating your guest blog at Rance's place!!

 
At 8:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the script contains as much creative punctuation and fractured grammar as this letter then it belongs in a museum. Let's - all, insert Random punctuation marks And - capitalizations in a Way that most Fully, obfuscates the Meaning of ... our sentences. It's Art, I tell you, Art!

 
At 10:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

obfuscates....hehehe....

and yes, I am twelve.

 
At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, thank God for that alternate title reference. Up 'til then I was totally confused.

 
At 11:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She - kills him and gets away with it! Alternate title - A Time To Heal. Is it just me - or does anyone else see a slight contradiction there?

 
At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok - color me Confused, is She with He - or is She with Him...or is Her with He or is Her With, His? And - Who Heals? Her or He?

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Simpsons already did it.

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Max Schadenfreude said...

Me - more frightened each time Me reads that thing.

 
At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As if I wouldn't figure out from the repeated use of a capitol "H" instead of the usual lower-case "h" that touted "shocking gut grabber" ending is that the young French girl is actually married to God... that was too easy.

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger Neb said...

"...bloated body taut, She drives away..." I need time to heal from this query. "She" and "He"? What? Is Goddess Earth married to Father Sky? Is this another Magdalene heresy?! I feel bloated and taut...

 
At 4:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's this kind of crap that gives Canada a bad name and perpetuates stupid stereotypes about the country.

As for the writer, take yourself and your crap writing far far away.

 
At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this the new Atom Egoyan film?

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like something I'd see on CBUT

 
At 5:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Huh.

 
At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So...who's side are we supposed to be on?

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger SD Byrd said...

"Dehumanized and debased She makes plans for His destruction knowing God is leading Her every step... She drives away leaving Him at a service station 300 miles from home."

This is the best God can do? It used to be plagues of locusts, and now its a setup for Planes, Trains and Automobiles. He's slipping, I tell you.

 
At 11:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A taut, bloated body AND a gut grabber? Wow!!!! Think of the possibilities there.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger shaunoftheliving said...

So yet another opposites attract script.

Since Shania Twain is from Windsor, maybe she could be on the soundtrack?

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Basket said...

Bon jour. Le temps amer que je vois.

Chercher le temps et quelques comment terrien ici.

Blog agréable.

Je devrai revenir plus tard.

 
At 6:12 PM, Blogger Hunt and Fish said...

Good post

 
At 7:52 PM, Blogger Rachel B. said...

Hey! I'd like to point out the obvious - remarks equating this piece of shit with Canadian screenwriting in general are unfair.

I mean, jeez, if this was in fact indicative of all Canadian screenwriting, there'd be weird sex, snowshoes, an odd victim mentality and perhaps Christopher Plummer cameo.

 

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